I grew up in the Middle East, and in India, and came to America for the first time 6 years ago for college, and have been here for a while since then. There has been dispelling of a lot of myths from both sides, but I do strongly feel all 10 of your rebuttals to the OP are narrow definitions of the points or exceptions, as a result of selection bias from the kinds of Americans or internationals you primarily interact with. Exemplified via hyperbole and mostly personal experience:
1. Really, people are impressed when an American is like a "normal" person from the rest of the world: "Wow you can speak some language other than your malformed version of english? Impressive! I can speak four -- my mothertongue, my national language, English, and some scrappy French from two years of high school. But it's amazing that you grew up in America and can now speak two!" I wouldn't really call that being impressed.

2. Sure, America gets dumped on in media all over the world. And blamed for economic disparity across the world. But the general populace, as the OP states, really doesn't think about America. It's true. Unless they have a relative or a friend in America they think about, or there's some global news going around, they really couldn't care less, which = not hating. Which is why they give you a break -- they don't care (although whether they should care is a different question)

3. Foreign language is not the only thing. Almost all of us can speak English, believe it or not. Just talk to us in English to get to know about us. And I'm amazed you can call American immigration "open" in the midst of all the conversation going on about it right now. I'm strongly led to believe you don't know very many non-Americans entangled in immigration in the last 5 years. Myself, I'm getting the boot by the end of this year (https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=5708206). I'll leave it at that, always a separate discussion.

Agreed, there are countries worse than America for immigration. But really, for all the immigrants, how many do you think nationals really interact with closely? How many of those are just outliers to the typical citizen of their respective countries? Large parts of the country that aren't Atlanta, Seattle, Boston or California have very little cultural intermingling and really, Americans know little to nothing about the rest of the world there. Of course, there are world-aware Americans and those who interact with others. This is a terrible terrible minority. And I suspect you have a selection bias here, where you probably interact with (and are one of) those kinds of people more than your average bumpkin who only cares about a 50 mile radius of his existence.

4. I completely agree with you here, countries like South Korea and many parts of India are far more ridiculously poor at self-expression than America. The author's expression is compared to the most open cultures in the world.

5. Of us immigrants, I imagine a large number do it because of proximity (Mexicans/South Americans), and relatively better, yes. Immigrants from other developed countries are here not for the standard of living, but for the innovative economy and career opportunities, fun products to work on, etc. The American Dream, in practice, is a thing of the past, and to people still groping for it, it's a delusion. People in those countries just aren't advertised to by any other country (like Sweden or Finland) as much as by the US via popular media. For the record, my quality of life here is certainly below where it would be if I worked a job commensurate to my qualifications back in India or the Middle East, but I love my work here more than anything I could see myself doing back home, as the markets exist today.

6. Yes, the US is a developed country. So it would be unfair to really compare it to most of the world. A lot of places really are slum-ridden shitholes (inside the US too, but moreso outside), but a LOT of places aren't. I don't see why you really disagree with the author here.

7. I'm sure you aren't paranoid, and I'm glad you aren't raising your kids to be. Again, I call selection bias on you calling baloney on this. If you pick any article that talks about international anything on the internet, and read a couple comments, you'll hear how paranoid they are about foreigners, about crime, about the government, about bomb threats, terrorists, etc. A lot of it is grounded, a lot of it plain stupid. The media, law-enforcement and public reactions to events in general all depict this paranoia, and a lot of it is grounded in Americans believing the rest of the world is out to get them and ruin their pretty lives (goes back to point 2).

8. This is probably true over the entire world. Maybe you don't seek status, but my parents, my friends, my cousins, and I'm sure to a great extent, myself, all are pretty status-obsessed and seek attention. Americans have eaten up social media tools more aggressively than most of the world (not surprising given most of it started here) and so seem more explicitly attention-seeking, but really, the whole world does this. That's being human in a society.

9. Long lifespans and being "healthy" are correlated, but not equivalent. However, there are definitely worse health problems over most of the world. In fact, I think more Americans think the country is unhealthier than it actually is. However, healthcare is definitely cheaper in the rest of the world. If I had to do serious surgery, it would cost me far less to buy a two-way plane ticket to India and pay for the best hospital and doctors the country can provide there than try to go to a default hospital here in California to get it fixed. If only I didn't have such visa issues if I tried to do that...

10. Do you really feel you are representative of Americans choosing to not pick a penis-car and go for homeschooling and encourage multiculturism and human relationships? People I know who I never thought would mistake comfort for happiness when they were in college, have rapidly turned into those looking for "nicer" suburban houses, routine expensive getaways and big televisions, and, believe it or not, penis cars. However, this is true in a lot of the world wherever people have significantly more than the baseline required money, and I don't think is an exclusively American thing either.