OP deserves a lot of credit for having the courage to write this.

1. Software was supposed to be trans-industrial. If you knew how to write code, you could work anywhere in the industrial economy. This meant it would have all the same benefits (stability, industry-agnosticism) of management without the negatives (subjectivity, politics). Unfortunately, that didn't last. Managers took that from us and created a culture of oblique/inappropriate specialization because it's easier to do that than to admit that they don't understand what we do.

2. Our industry has become extremely anti-intellectual. There's a sharp phase change between what your professors groom you for (out of a legacy leftist hope, never realized, that if a leadership education is delivered down into society's middle; then the scorned middle classes will revolt against the elite) and the world of Work, which hasn't evolved in most places. Adam Smith called Britain "a nation of shopkeepers". Corporate America is a nation of social climbers. It's fucking revolting. The good news is that, after a few years, you get used to it and develop the social skills necessary to survive it.

3. I don't think the future is in the Bay Area or Manhattan. Those are great places to build your career and gain some credibility/savings/experience while society figures out where the future will be. However, if you want to build the future, California's not the place for that anymore. Forty years ago, Northern CA was where people went to escape the Mad Men nonsense. Now, houses in Palo Alto-- a suburb; we're not talking San Francisco-- are more expensive than many places in Manhattan. The future's going to come out of a location that's free from the high-rent nonsense that creates a work culture of subordination. The years that made Silicon Valley cheap were those in which few feared the boss because one could make living money doing odd jobs, the cost of living being so low. That's over now. The Valley is Manhattan (again, Mad Men) minus winter and with worse architecture.

4. Through all this, you gotta play the long game. Sure, you're not going to be able to do hard experimental mathematics. You may have to let that dream go. Just keep current/sharp enough to be eligible for interesting work when it comes up. That is doable. Things are terrible right now for cognitive 1-percenters who want meaningful, interesting work (i.e. an upper middle class salary isn't enough, and it's never "stable" for top-0.x-percent intellects because of the job security risks that level of talent implies) but they won't always be like this.

5. Relatedly, if you watch the social climbers, they don't do a lot of real work. If you get even passably good at their game, you can get by with a couple hours of focused effort and that leaves 5-6 for self-directed learning. (Don't write code that you'll use later on work time-- you don't own that-- but feel free to explore and just rewrite the code from scratch at home.) Don't feel wrong about doing this; it's a crooked game and that makes criminals of everyone. Work is (for 95+ percent of people) just about advancing your career; the other shit is stuff people say to distract the naive and clueless. That idealistic shit is a luxury of the extremely privileged, and you need to pretend it as a status signal, but don't believe your own lie. Proles have to take what they can. Just be smart about it. Stealing office supplies == stupid. It's illegal and wrong and dumb and you'll get fired. Making decisions that help your career but aren't optimal for others (who don't give a shit about you either) == smart, if you don't get caught. If you steal, make sure to take intangibles.

6. If you can, start getting up at 5:00 in the morning. Get some productive hours banged out before you go to work. If you can't go to bed early, then compensate by taking mid-afternoon naps in a place where your co-workers won't find you (almost no one gets anything done during those hours anyway). Relatedly, it's worth a lot of money to kill your commute. If you can't afford to live near work, then consider a different city.

7. There are jobs that aren't like the corporate hell being describe above. They exist, but they're not common, and they're probably extremely selective in the Bay Area. When you get one, hold on to it for as long as it's good and learn as much as you can.

Also, on this: http://michaelochurch.wordpress.com/2013/01/07/we-should-pay...