http://www.cnbc.com/id/49689511

Okay, God, prove You're wiser than Solomon!

God says Line: 39669

husbandmen also, and vine dressers in the mountains, and in Carmel:
for he loved husbandry.

26:11 Moreover Uzziah had an host of fighting men, that went out to
war by bands, according to the number of their account by the hand of
Jeiel the scribe and Maaseiah the ruler, under the hand of Hananiah,
one of the king's captains.

26:12 The whole number of the chief of the fathers of the mighty men
of valour were two thousand and six hundred.

26:13 And under their hand was an army, three hundred thousand and
seven thousand and five hundred, that made war with mighty power, to
help the king against the enemy.

26:14 And Uzziah prepared for them throughout all the host shields,
and spears, and helmets, and habergeons, and bows, and slings to cast
stones.

26:15 And he made in Jerusalem engines, invented by cunning men, to be
on the towers and upon the bulwarks, to shoot arrows and great stones
withal.

And his name spread far abroad; for he was marvellously helped, till
he was strong.

----

Yer prejudiced, God! ROFLMAO

Uzzi?

http://archive.jta.org/article/1959/09/04/3060034/israel-sel...

Jews managed to engineer something and sell to the Germans, of all people! Impressive.

What are Jews best at? Law?

Indians are not good at sports.

God says...

deepest Willeth blottedst passages entrails distinctly figure
create beyond Shall yet well_obviously we sit sublimity
confusedness strives reasoning surface impute fool etext00
familiar barbarism arranged what_planet_are_you_from conquests
penally arrange skill stanza awakest thirst justifieth
woundest unconsciously grieves requitest pictures pant
heretics crookedness infer

----

God's favorite band: Beattles

God's favorite car: BMW

God doesn't lie, mostly.

God says Line 95958

5:3 Honour widows that are widows indeed.

5:4 But if any widow have children or nephews, let them learn first to
shew piety at home, and to requite their parents: for that is good and
acceptable before God.

5:5 Now she that is a widow indeed, and desolate, trusteth in God, and
continueth in supplications and prayers night and day.

5:6 But she that liveth in pleasure is dead while she liveth.

5:7 And these things give in charge, that they may be blameless.

5:8 But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his
own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.

5:9 Let not a widow be taken into the number under threescore years
old, having been the wife of one man.

----

On racism, the best line is "what planet are you from?"

That last passage highlighted Jewish good, sensible law. It's about no fraud. Greece might be like a widow with kids. In fact, old age money is a big problem in government payouts, and getting kids to pay might help.

----

http://arstechnica.com/security/2012/11/inside-symantecs-ssl...

What are we going to do about Win8 and my operating system. Fucken gotta get Biblical on their asses!

God says Line 81479

13:19 For in those days shall be affliction, such as was not from the
beginning of the creation which God created unto this time, neither
shall be.

13:20 And except that the Lord had shortened those days, no flesh
should be saved: but for the elect's sake, whom he hath chosen, he
hath shortened the days.

13:21 And then if any man shall say to you, Lo, here is Christ; or,
lo, he is there; believe him not: 13:22 For false Christs and false
prophets shall rise, and shall shew signs and wonders, to seduce, if
it were possible, even the elect.

13:23 But take ye heed: behold, I have foretold you all things.

13:24 But in those days, after that tribulation, the sun shall be
darkened, and the moon shall not give her light, 13:25 And the stars
of heaven shall fall, and the powers that are in heaven shall be
shaken.

13:26 And then shall they see the Son of man coming in the clouds with
great power and glory.

-----

God says...

cared forbid observeth Coeternal solemnities severally discoursing
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Triers loathsome quoth victory held Pylades wantonly private
matrons proclaim weigheth hymns Permit wove loved telling
affrighted replacement unchangeable receptacle don't_mention_it
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earnest believed readiness 12/12/00 believer actual salary
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follows beginneth shod delivering I_just_might mounting
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singular renewing enforcement fields understands Perish
Cyprus mercies yuck waking improperly testimony compliance
usefully calculated enticing generally restrains thinks
origin unchangeable dreams reputed immortal your translated
txt Next allotted lodging awhile grantest alleging succession

----

http://www.zeusriver.com/blog/2012/11/i-already-have-wirefra...

God says Line: 62107

up your fallow ground, and sow not among thorns.

4:4 Circumcise yourselves to the LORD, and take away the foreskins of
your heart, ye men of Judah and inhabitants of Jerusalem: lest my fury
come forth like fire, and burn that none can quench it, because of the
evil of your doings.

4:5 Declare ye in Judah, and publish in Jerusalem; and say, Blow ye
the trumpet in the land: cry, gather together, and say, Assemble
yourselves, and let us go into the defenced cities.

4:6 Set up the standard toward Zion: retire, stay not: for I will
bring evil from the north, and a great destruction.

4:7 The lion is come up from his thicket, and the destroyer of the
Gentiles is on his way; he is gone forth from his place to make thy
land desolate; and thy cities shall be laid waste, without an
inhabitant.

4:8 For this gird you with sackcloth, lament and howl: for the fierce
anger of the LORD is not turned back from us.

----

Fuck them up, God, holocaust or sompin.

God says...

strings also EVEN hurrying youre_welcome delightfulness
do_you_get_a_cookie frown estimate failure Disposer disgusted
inebriated succouredst intensely Thence unveiled vows
thinketh grief comparing gift measuring advantage unbelievers
warring makest provisions unbeseemingly sever distribution
bondage Hart scholar's AS resistedst embryo-life obstinacy
storm alleging Suffer it_was_nothing taunt Into Many tribulation

----

http://imgur.com/EZAtI

All Obama supporters are atheists. Jews and homos are atheists.

God says Line 58114

sea; and with his mighty wind shall he shake his hand over the river,
and shall smite it in the seven streams, and make men go over dryshod.

11:16 And there shall be an highway for the remnant of his people,
which shall be left, from Assyria; like as it was to Israel in the day
that he came up out of the land of Egypt.

12:1 And in that day thou shalt say, O LORD, I will praise thee:
though thou wast angry with me, thine anger is turned away, and thou
comfortedst me.

12:2 Behold, God is my salvation; I will trust, and not be afraid: for
the LORD JEHOVAH is my strength and my song; he also is become my
salvation.

12:3 Therefore with joy shall ye draw water out of the wells of
salvation.

12:4 And in that day shall ye say, Praise the LORD, call upon his
name, declare his doings among the people, make mention that his name
is exalted.

----

They mocked the guy who said God prevented pregnancy from rape -- God said wetness.

God says...

mean enchantment didst preference comfort Carthage compliance
faculties so humongous converse afraid pressedst harmonious
arranged deferring material Suffer presidentship sorrowfulness
exhortation Stand taste having chiefest excuses sellers
disturbed physic gross-hearted Adeodatus satisfaction
person Fear Chad neglecting drove belong 1739 his volumes
recruiting lentiles OF disputes Maker bursting admirable
sweeter method grew immersed periods perversity persevering
hast comforted grammarians turns if_anything_can_go_wrong
protraction would life-giving Release Drunkard innate
pick_me_pick_me despaired endearments wholesomely still
Whither Whence

----

There was a homo at our dorm named "Chad".

Shit, God, nothing changes. Guess we solved greece, though.

God says...

20:2 And when he had gone over those parts, and had given them much
exhortation, he came into Greece, 20:3 And there abode three months.
And when the Jews laid wait for him, as he was about to sail into
Syria, he purposed to return through Macedonia.

20:4 And there accompanied him into Asia Sopater of Berea; and of the
Thessalonians, Aristarchus and Secundus; and Gaius of Derbe, and
Timotheus; and of Asia, Tychicus and Trophimus.

20:5 These going before tarried for us at Troas.

20:6 And we sailed away from Philippi after the days of unleavened
bread, and came unto them to Troas in five days; where we abode seven
days.

20:7 And upon the first day of the week, when the disciples came
together to break bread, Paul preached unto them, ready to depart on
the morrow; and continued his speech until midnight.

20:8 And there were many lights in the upper chamber, where they were
gathered together.

----

God says...

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placest spent riotous underline committing harmed wickedly
because thither proceed son's abundance Amid repose strives
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intention Ethiopia Whose delightsome insight all-sufficient
mentioned wrap untruth shares burnt beside moment yeah
enemy divination folk man's declaiming remembering you_better_not
manner I_veto_that devotions cheerfulness conformably
varying significations theft helped Goal wronged often
bring_it_on Right God_is_not_mocked studies' trifling