> But her argument was also that according to the original .net magazine article; every woman fears being raped all day every day.

I contend that this is a sensationalist statement. The source for this claim, if I understand it, is this:

...our world has a history, spanning thousands of years, of
violence as a means to silence and control women. This is
simply not the case for men, and never has been. Every
woman carries that historical weight with her wherever she
goes, whereas very few men even have an understanding of
how heavy that weight is.

That is simply true, as every African American carries the legacy of chattel slavery anywhere they go. Does this mean every black man is constantly afraid he'll be beaten up and arrested? Of course not. But ignoring that legacy will leave you profoundly confused on the subject of race relations.

Because women do fear rape. No, not the way a hyperbolic strawman fears being knocked down, but day by day in little ways the fear of violence becomes another part of your life.

That creepy guy on the bus who said you looked pretty? He's probably just a harmless old dude. But then he moved to sit next to you and didn't say anything and you were worried he was going to touch you. So you get off at the next stop even though you aren't home yet, because the last time something like this happened that guy found out where you worked and took the same bus as you for a week... And you know he's probably harmless and you feel like an idiot waiting for the next bus except your best friend was raped at a party and had to get an abortion and never told anyone but you and God, why are you even thinking about that? Why is it so hard for men to just leave you alone?

Since we're avoiding generalizations, I will be specific: Every single woman that I have known intimately enough to know such things has such stories. Those who had not been victims of rape themselves, that is. Of course, they don't complain about it, because complaining about it has never, ever helped.

Does that mean "every woman fears being raped all day every day"? Stop talking like that. You know what it means.

> She generally doesn't concern herself with posts like these but she felt the need to considering a man (I know you don't care about gender but it's important factor that a man is telling her how she feels) is saying what sexism is to EVERYONE.

I will charitably grant she mistook his speaking in generalities to be making pronouncements. For example, he says "A group of all men just doesn't seem as welcoming to women," to which she retorts "in general I find that men are in fact, more welcoming". They're plainly speaking past each other; he spoke of a statistical fact, such as "Black men are more likely to be arrested", and she responded with a personal fact, such as "I'm not a criminal."

It's obvious why these sorts of general statements are so dangerous, since they're so easy to misinterpret or use for evil (and tacking on some kind of IMHO doesn't help at all). In general, I'd avoid making them in the first place, except there are questions we need them to answer: "Why are so many black men being arrested?" or "Why are so few women entering tech?"

So I think I'd be a lot more charitable toward her position if I saw some indication that she got what the original article was actually about: "I'm concerned about the gender gap in tech. I think it's an important thing for us to be talking about."

Then we can all work to figure out a way to talk about it that doesn't leave some people feeling unrepresented.