> >It sounds like you might be misunderstanding how woke etiquette works. It's not about avoiding offense, but changing behavior. For example, say I don't know if someone I'm speaking with prefers the term black, african american or person of color, but the topic of conversation involves race and I must choose. Say the person is my age and I was raised with the term black in the 1980s, so maybe I say black because I'm nervous about sounding patronizing.

> That anyone is nervous in this situation is already kind of ridiculous to me. I am black (but grew up with African-American), and if it makes people nervous to just pick one of the words... that's just sad. If this is what goes through the heads of certain people, the need to be lovingly reassured that they should not be made to feel this way, and that anybody who did is in the wrong.

> If this is how you feel, I am sorry. This isn't how it should be. Neither should you be made to pay for the sins of your father.

I have inadvertently mansplained before, but I certainly did not expect to be talking at someone who is black about wokeism! I really have egg on my face. This is one of those teachable moments, and I certainly learned a lesson here.

This is as good a time as any to bring up white savior complex:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/White_savior

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/White_savior_narrative_in_film

Talk about performative.

I should clarify that I'm not uncomfortable with wokeism or my interactions with people outside my demographic. What I was trying to say there was, we should be confident going into any encounter if our intentions are genuine. We shouldn't be afraid to use the wrong word. Because we shouldn't let our ego get in the way if/when we are corrected. And we should stand up for ourselves if we get attacked for innocently using the wrong word.

I'm disappointed in political correctness for creating a climate of uncertainty. But I think that's a small price to pay if it gets us to the point that everyone feels included. I don't like to see crocodile tears for the people who now have to watch what they say. Because they should have already been treating people respectfully.

> Honestly? It seems that I benefit from the status quo just fine. I don't feel oppressed. I don't feel like a debt needs to be repaid to me. I'm typing on my computer from the comfort of a electrically-heated room. I don't blame anyone for what I don't have, and I would feel hurt if what I do have was given to me by someone who felt that I needed a handout.

> I am part of a religion that teaches that all mankind faces, and will continue to face, suffering and injustice, and that all men are limited and inherently flawed. Though some have less than others but we are all equal. What we have does not matter since we can not take it with us. If one among us is suffering or lacks sufficient food, clothing, or shelter, of course we should help them out.

> Where we differ is that it seems like you are working towards a certain 'utopia', where the various 'debts' of sin you've incurred have been paid off. In contrast, we have already been forgiven, and have already arrived at our utopia.

I'm going to defer to you on this. If that's how you feel, that society has reached a level of equality where affirmative action has become counterproductive, then who am I to argue?

I'm willing to acknowledge that maybe the situation has changed and I am out of touch. My embarrassment and regret over being around blue humor in my youth, and using slurs before I even knew what some of them meant, haunt me. I had horribly negative experiences working in a warehouse in my 20s where I saw people at their worst. And I've witnessed discrimination and harrassment at office jobs. Despite a lifetime of hard work, I don't feel nearly as successful as I wanted to be at this age, and I wonder where I'd be if I hadn't been held back by ageism and the mistreatment of neurodivergents by neurotypicals.

That working class hero mentality mixes with the injustices I saw and creates a kind of acquired oppression in me. Where I see my failures as handed down from oppressors instead of being due to my own lack of discipline or perseverance, or just bad luck. I see that rebelliousness reflected in the eyes of the people who voted against democrats that they see as elite for their DEI priorities. Their logic doesn't make sense to me, but their feelings do.

While I can't agree that all of this is utopia, I do want to say that I'm happy that you're able to feel creation's grace and be thankful for your blessings. I believe that the world is what we make of it, and that prayer/manifestion or whatever we call it is moving us towards forming a more perfect union.

I'd like to give you the last word, if you're inclined to share one. Otherwise I wish you well, thanks for being patient with me and taking the time to write such thoughtful responses.