Just found a great approach to making friends - it's always been a struggle for me, so sharing this out in case it helps someone.

Language Exchanges.

Many cities have a regular (Language)/English meetup. Spanish/English, Italian/English, etc. You might have to search a bit, but check Meet-up.com

Basically, you go to a bar/cafe, there are tables with flags like "Basic English", "Advanced Spanish". You sit down, introduce yourself, and chit chat! Since I am a native english speaker, I usually start by sitting with English Basic, so I can help people really in need :) then I go find Spanish basic, and will later move go a higher level table when my brain is warmed up.

What's great is that (1) everyone wants to learn another language, (2) travel is fun to talk about, (3) This format "fixes the glitch" about going to a bar/cafe solo, and finding it socially challenging to approach new people - having lots of conversations here is the point!

The demographic is diverse! Locals, travelers, young & old, a great mix of girls and guys.

I'll share my past 2 month journey - because it's actually shocking to me to go from 2'ish years of loneliness-vibes, to within a couple months - meeting some amazing people and getting into a social groove.

Language exchange visit #1: Met lots of interesting people. Later the event had a club/dance vibe, ended up dancing with some of the new people I met. That was cool! Since this was in another city and I was traveling, I wasn't able to follow up and hang with the new people I met.

Language exchange visit #2: Found on Meet-up. At a loud bar, hard to converse. A regular there told me about another weekly language meetup, in a nearby area. Basically, its a latin dance school which hosts 3 languages exchanges a week.

Language exchange visit #3:
I found the language learning part great (well structured, rotate tables each 5-10 minutes), the dancing was frustrating. Couldn't understand the dance instructions, felt lost and clumsy in the group setting, I left discouraged a few times - and did't want to go back. Bummed.

Met a neighbor of mine, told her about the recent experience. She told me about another regular language exchange, in a farther part of town - and suggested I go.

Language exchange visit #4: Great meet up - calm coffee shop / wine bar vibe. I met several people, exchanged contacts. One guy mentioned he's hosting an upcoming holiday party and invited me. I went to it, and it was fun! Some other people from the language exchange were there, so I had a couple of people to talk with at the party. "See you at the language exchange?" - "I'll be there!"

Language exchange visit #5. Returned to the previous bar/cafe, greeted by familiar faces (several people remembered my name). I've been trying to get group sports going - and there are padel courts near me (a game similar to pickleball, squash, tennis). The guy partner from a nice couple I met expressed interest in playing padel - so I thought it would be a good way to expand the friendship vibes, and lean into social / fitness / fun activity, rather than "let's get a drink"

Me and the guy booked a padel court, and had a ton of fun playing. Near the end of the game, he mentioned - Man, we should do this weekly!

The following week, we scheduled another padel session. My new padel buddy asked if he could invite a few friends to join us play (with padel, you can do 1v1 or 2v2 people). Sure!

That padel game was so much fun! 4 dudes on a court, with no ideas the rules of the game, just having a blast keeping the ball going back and forth. Felt like teenagers again!

While taking break between games, I got an invite to a small-gathering holiday dinner party. I had been planning to have a solo night with the dogs, but wanted to actually spend time with good people too. The holiday party was last night, and tons of fun!

Work-wise, got an immediate benefit.

At the padel game, when doing the "what do you do for work" convo, I mentioned I'm a software developer / entrepreneur, and help people build their dream thing. One of the guys asked if we could meet up for coffee and talk through his business idea, which is happening this weekend...

Since I'm on entrepreneur mode - and that's been challenging - this was validation that the group sports / work pathway seems pretty good. Healthy active people with good ideas / important problems - hoping it will lead to some great clients/projects/opportunities.

I hope this inspires someone to give language exchange meet-ups a try, and also to lean into fun social group sports.