That was a very frustrating week, but it was one frustrating week in six years, and I've gotten past it.

Story time: Customer X signed up for the free trial of Appointment Reminder. 3 minutes later he sends an email asking if I can please hop on a call with him. This is at 2 AM Japan time but I am just putzing around on HN so I apologize to Ruriko, say that I'm going to make a five minute phone call, and call him from my cell phone in Japan. He asks a typical pre-sales question, I answer it, and we're done in five minutes.

Fast forward to three hours later: phone rings. Customer X, who now has my Japanese phone number, is calling with a new issue. He has been using the software and thinks that grey text on a yellow button is difficult to read, and I should fix this for him. He sent me an email but I didn't respond to it. I tell him that I live in Japan, that it is 5 AM, and that I will ordinarily respond to emails within 24 hours. He asks another question and I, somewhat testily, strongly suggest writing it in an email and end the conversation.

Next day, he calls back at 2 AM. He wonders whether the software will also send SMSes. I tell him that the first line of text on the front page is "Appointment Reminder sends out customizable phone reminders, text message reminders (also called SMS reminders), and email reminders to your clients, so that they come in on time and you get paid." and that he could have asked this question over email. I then remind him that I am in Japan, that it is 2 AM in the morning, and that the service level for a $29 a month account is best-effort email.

Three days and six calls later I finally lose my patience and tell him something to the effect of: "There is an actual cost involved in having our head engineer wake up at 5 AM to answer your phone calls, which -- by the way -- you have made more of in the last week than our entire customer base has ever. If you need this level of service, you should purchase an SLA, which will cost you north of $5,000 a month, or I will assist you in finding a service provider more appropriate to your needs."

Customer X takes the hint, then begins badgering me over email. Despite having time zones and the 24 hour thing explained multiple times, he gets very upset when I don't respond to emails in 20 minutes. My happiness level deteriorates over the week.

Finally, I tell Customer X that he is making economically non-viable use of customer support, and that if he needs this level of support, I will assist him in finding a provider appropriate to his needs. I then explicitly, for the first time, mention that we can terminate accounts. That's the only time in my life I have hinted at that threat.

This quiets him down. Several weeks later he self-cancels and I take Ruriko out to dinner to celebrate.

But again, compared to the amount of drama I suffered when full-time employed, this is a funny story affecting 2% of my time, I've made a process improvement to avoid it in the future (I now do customer phone calls through a Twilio proxy so they don't get my Japanese cell number and, if someone is X-like again, I will cut them off earlier), and I'm currently enjoying my honeymoon in Hawaii 98% disconnected with no real worries.