Well, what I call poverty is merely the American technical definition for the term; it bears no resemblance to what most other countries of the world would call poverty, e.g. the favelas of Brasil, most of Africa, etc. As such, we have EBT (formerly called Food Stamps) that we use to pay for some food each month; as well, we live in a subsidized apartment so our three-bedroom is below market rate, though in a polluted area of the city (via both nearby traffic and nearby commercial businesses), where most children haven't had the quality of diet and environment we take care to provide for ours. My education, predilection towards curiosity about scitech and better-living, and luck of good schooling (G&T with an AppleII in 6th grade) via large 80s defense budgets has also provided me with a lifetime of education (via internet since 1988 with no TV) such that I used our pandemic stimulus money to buy two $600 RabbitAir high-quality air purifiers (they are fantastic!) and some plants. That's just one example, though an important one.

What I can say is that creation has provided what we needed, first through my previous life as a successful programmer, but since, through my wife's love for and excellence in cooking, while I am an attentive home-schooler (it is easy in our state; an unexpected and rare benefit of fundamentalist thinking) and home IT specialist, keeping the education and fun flowing, but in simple but meaningful dimensions. Plus, we take the kids to wonderful parks where good air and nature can be found. Most importantly, we have taught them how to be appreciative for the life and perspective we have. We are not particularly religious at home (I mostly keep my practices to myself, as I am loath put any kind of pressure on them in that dimension), except in my making sure to point out where compassion provides great outcomes and ignorance of compassion causes unhappiness both in the small and large. My wife and I have demonstrated generosity to strangers and the teaching has really taken with both the now-teenagers, who are beloved by their peer groups for their kindness, talent, intelligence and humor.

Don Juan (Carlos Castaneda's teacher) says that, in life, what we choose to NOT do is the dominant factor, which I have found to be true, through both experience and written wisdom. As such, the kids have been taught the perils of common negative behaviors, such as: alcohol and other drugs, sexual promiscuity, being belligerent to others, being ignorant of the truth of karma, compassion, and truth.

As Sufis, we do not espouse the superiority of any form of religion, nor do we speak ill of those who have not embraced religion in their lives. The only measure of a person is how they treat others, and we are not to treat them poorly even in that event, though we may have to intervene to prevent harm to innocents. We have not had to do that in our American lives, thankfully, but a study of history has impressed the reality of oppression (and necessity of countervaling compassion) upon them. This included studying the life of Frederick Douglass (we listened to the entire free audiobook for the 900pg 2019 Pulitzer Prize-winning biography together for 5-6hrs/day 5-6days/wk over perhaps three weeks), and we boys have listened to Stephen E. Ambrose's two WWII books, D-Day and Citizen Soldier, multiple times (as my son played chess, and daughter worked on her skills in various crafts, especially sewing full poofy-sleeve dresses and shirts and skirts as well as amigurumi (cultural inheritances of my wife's non-American culture, tho I have crafty Aunts)). They both love the Band of Brothers book and miniseries, and we have together listened to both The Hobbit and Lord of the Rings books in full multiple times, as well as the latter five books of my favorite author William Gibson, whose works are filled with heart and enough rock'n'roll grit to convey that regular people have sex, are sometimes trans, are sometimes gay, and are completely human while being both imperfect yet good people, worthy of respect, no better or worse than us.

All this is to say that we have encouraged their own interests and creativity by providing lots of legos (we have the Unimog!), books, art materials, and shown lots of interesting videos from Uncle Dave (Attenborough) (thanks 2010ish bittorrent documentary sites) as well as Veritasium and lots of NHKOnline (Design Talks Plus, now called Design Stories). We also watch Futbol (soccer) highlights, Sumo (such a different culture), and Judo (for its badassery and fundamental respect). What is important here is that they don't have their own internet-connected devices, but have access to them in our living room, where I live and exist. My son plays online chess and loves his chess club and tournaments. They both have used study.com and Khan Academy for their academic requirements, so they are not without internet access, but only in the service of curiosity and learning and fun, under our loving gaze.

My only hard and fast rule here is that there can be no bickering, and there truly is none, because we respect each other and truly care for each other. The key is that the true value of compassion at home is to take it out into the world every chance we get. They know that we love and serve them, rarely ask them to serve us, and that when we ask them to serve the family (by, for example, my son being in charge of doing the dishes), we do so only because someone needs to do it, and that it's only for the good of the family. Gratefulness is a antidote to our complaining human nature.

All of this (long-winded, I know) is to say that how one serves one's family is the root and trunk of inculcating compassion into one's society because they will take those values/virtues into it, while educating them about the perils of acting on one's vicious (vice-tending, as opposed to virtuous) and selfish tendencies. History and current events, when portrayed in the honest light of virtue/vice evaluation, is an excellent means of educating the entire society, firstly via our two new members. Our daughter's new ability to vote in this coming election is a fruit of our tireless labors.

We have also demonstrated to them a loving husband-wife combination, where we have occasionally argued, and where we rule together by consensus, such is the nature of marriage, where apology and positive self-evolution is required for every person's personal growth and the success of the community, and having a leader who values the opinions of everyone while recommending but not commanding the best course of action is also IMO the best model of society. We should each do the best thing because it's what is best for everyone -- at least we should try, that is.

My wife and I decided to have children to honor the wisdom teachings of universal compassion and service to humanity, to end all suffering and serve the true happiness of everyone, in truth and kindness. We have been very successful, though certainly not perfect and yet also certainly absolutely uncommon in America, or anywhere as far as I can see. This has largely been due to my ability to be a stay-at-home dad of creative bent, not sequestered by myself in some bedroom on a Zoom call or walling myself off. It is kindof a sacrifice, but I've not been very money-oriented in my life, and, though I have been able to earn a good living from being a badass programmer at times early in our marriage, my inability to prioritize money over human beings not only kept me out of the manager-class, but put me in direct confrontation with those souless bastards and their entire intent and modus operandi.

I'll address the rest of your comment in a separate reply. I need a break and this one is loooong-winded already ;-)