First of all, thank you for your comment, again.

> first of all you didn't even chose the name you're bearing right now

Oh, well, it just happens I actually did. When I naturalized, I literally picked my legal name (making some adjustments). I contemplated going as "Alex" (I use it as an informal name sometimes), but kept "Aleksei" just because I felt more like it.

Even "Aleksei" is a choice (to some extent) - while society had dictated how it was spelled out in my old passport, I still had a choice of how I write it when I introduce myself. Quite a few people I know use names that are different from their legal names for themselves.

We don't typically chose names we're bearing as kids, for obvious reasons. However, in reasonably progressive societies, we do have a choice regarding our names (most don't exercise it, keeping names as they were, but they still have an option) when we're adults.

> Then there's your job, from which we derive a significant part of our identity (note how we say “I am a software developer”).

That's not exactly right again - software development isn't there because it's my job. I've been pushing those Omnissiah-blessed (or cursed) buttons since I was five or six, so it's truly a part of who I am. Been like that way before I even got my first job.

I wouldn't have put my job title ("Senior Engineer II") in the description, since I don't normally refer to myself that way. Some people do, of course - their identity, their choice how they present it.

> The reason why you put an alarm clock

Is probably not what you think, either. ;-) Yes, it's a commitment, but a very voluntary one - one of my cats has diabetes and he needs his pills and an shot of insulin. Plus, my overall health gets somewhat worse if I don't maintain normal diurnal schedule.

I'm obviously very privileged here, but one of the [many] reasons I work for a company I work for, is flexibility I negotiated upfront - because I needed it for personal reasons. Again, it was me making that call, consciously ignoring the workplaces (= parts of the society) that don't work for me that well, and looking for the parts that do.

And please don't get me wrong - I'm not bragging here or anything like that. It's just stating historical events - reading your comment made me remember things and realize they were quite different. I honestly wish everyone would be as privileged as me to be able to do the same: live their lives as much to their liking as the world allows it.

> we are the life we live.

I completely agree with this. Using formal terminology, identity is a description of self-concept, and if I get it right, self-concept is made of self-schemas, which are - simplified - a memories of our own lives.

> We don't exist in a vacuum, most of the decisions we take every day, big or small, are shaped by the society we live in

Oh, I think I see - we're basically talking something like individualism vs communitarianism at this point?

I absolutely agree that coexistence with others (living in a society) means that our actions (and thus our identities) are greatly influenced by society. I find it ironic that my semi-liberal views on identity are definitely shaped by living a part of my life in a pseudo-collectivist society that I found disgusting. I'm not a libertarian, but I - quite selectively - like John Locke's "every man has a Property in his own Person" idea very much.

And despite society playing huge role in forming identities, I still think I believe in individual volition as the ultimate factor. Assuming free will is a thing, haha. We may have limited options that we don't like - that's life - but - as I think - we still always make our own decisions. Otherwise concepts like "responsibility" stop making sense.

So, ultimately, I'm all for the idea that I say "Hey, I'm Aleksei" and that's who I am, rather than society telling me "You are Aleksei". Societies can be very different. And if the society is [subjectively] good for some individual, society should have no problem with individual expressing themselves, right? And I just wouldn't like anyone to be stuck in a bad place - but if they are, in bad places, our own minds are always our very last bastion - and I think it's important to stand for it.

Hope I understood your comment correctly, and that my reply makes sense.