I'm Fucked
Hello,

I'm Fucked. The owner of the appartement I'm in, decided to sell and I have six months to get out, and I did not see it coming.

I got seek three-four years ago, which made me think about transitionning into a new field less complicated for me that the one I was used to, and two years ago I decided to go all-in on becoming a software dev.

After around a year of learning English, computing (DSA, Algos, Big O, design patterns, etc) and some technologies (Git, GitHub, Docker, Angular, Node.js(ExpressFastify), JS/TS, PHP(a bit of symfony), HTML/CSS, SQL/MySQL), I couldn't find a job. Basically, my profile was ok, but I was rejected with "One year of pro exp would have been ok", and the few interviews I got, I was Ok in tests at that point but not strong enough. (Since then, I got better tho')

So I decided to try to get an apprenticeship, maybe it was the way, there is plenty of that there, instead of entry-level, and I entered into a school which was "reputed" (not bullshit study I would say). I got more interviews, crushed tests and design interviews, but I got left out for that much which is .. horrible, because most often I had 4-6 meetings overs a 4-6 weeks, people told me I was in competition with a lot of people but still, tests were good, and then at the last minute, even after two times getting two times accepted .. I got rejected for a reason that I learnt only a few weeks ago; For my age (32) there is not as much money from the state as with people of 30 and less. Incredible from enterprise which gained millions a year. Anyway.

What should I do next ? I need to get a job, to change quickly location, and I'll find it eventually, but I fucking want to work as a Software Dev, I really like it, I even learnt C++ at the side, I want to deeply understand the web, I'm just starting to try to create big things for learning purpose (implementing an event loop, implementing crypt stuf, etc...) and I'm trying to do open source because I want to participate to the world.

What fuck me here, is just the fact that I need to change location, and its horrendous for my familly, and yeah I have a familly, my daughter has health issues, and my wife take care of her and my health issues (when it was big).
I'm a failure, I hate myself, I made mistakes yeah, I should have done it differently yeah, and I should have predicted the worst case better .. but fuck, maybe I should have not moved, I'm an optimistic, and I hate it.

Notes:
- I have tiny github projects, and that's the reason I got interviews it seems (some told me directly), not big things for sure, but CLI programs with encryption, webserver with self-made auth (cookie/session, encryption myself) and much more, library to scrap and digest data (that I use myself), and few more.
- I was open to moving more than an hour out of my home for jobs and such, I don't care about working home, but it would be good sure.
- Now, Apprenticeship is not possible it seems
- I have a side project, it can get traction and make me money I feel it, but I need time to build it (And I'm lost too here), I've done it partially early last year, but I fucked up (big learning there) about my knowledge of the event-loop and how it handle load, good lessons and put it on the side, I made a mistake here again.

What the fuck should I try to get that job ?