I remember when I last owned my time, in 1994. I started college in 1995 and didn't pay off my student loans until around the time I hit 40 in the late 2010s. Most of my years have been spent under the yoke paying bills and making rent in one form or another, and I live in a relatively affordable city in the northwestern US. I can't imagine how challenging it must be for teen moms and single mothers for example, getting paid 75% what I did, while having to provide for at least another person. I look at society and all I see is the stifling stagnation of opportunity cost, as those that could change things spiritually bypass their own potential by pointing the finger and lecturing the rest of us about our life choices.

Which brings me to my point. My creative freedom has been so curtailed by running the rat race that I consider my productivity to be no more than 10%. I only got about 3 years of real work done in that 30 years. I made one shareware game that took me a year, and I only had the time because I was living with my dad. I had a blog briefly but took it down because I couldn't look at it anymore once I realized it was all projection about my lack of accomplishment. The things that I really wanted to do, like write a programming language and a web framework, not to mention implementing the hundreds of inventions I have written down (many of which got made by someone else anyway) would take so much time that they're effectively out of reach. Like stars slipping off the event horizon of our observable universe because the space they're on is expanding away from us faster than the speed of light.

I consider the idea of owning one's time to be a fantasy under capitalism. Like in Shawshank Redemption: hope is a dangerous thing, hope can drive a man insane. So I cope. I work out a lot to age backwards in a vain attempt to avoid the inevitable. I used to party a lot seeking connection until it led nowhere. Now there's just the bittersweet realization that salvation can't come at an individual level. It requires a community.

As lame as that sounds, it's the only answer I've come up with. If we want to own our own time again, it will require revolution. Starting with spiritual revolution, that since there is no logical way to achieve our goals, we can only shift into the reality where they manifest. Then cultural revolution, like we are seeing today post-pandemic, nearing a critical mass of awakened souls as the powers that be do everything they can to divide us as they watch the world burn. And finally the revolution which will not be televised, when we all come together and toss out our current leaders and their ilk, using our spirituality and technology to bring actual prosperity to everyone through a gift economy and automation.

Short of that I might say, reject everything. Rent's too high? Don't pay it. Opt out. Live in a van down by the river. Cancel all subscriptions. Go solarpunk. That's what I should have done 20 years ago when everyone told me not to. But I was too worried about achieving the good life and finding a girlfriend. So my potential got diluted into responsibility, residual income into wave slavery. Attachments create suffering. Letting go promotes peace.