I'm in a similar boat. I'm a bit older, and my kids are too. One turns 5 in September and the other 2 next month.

Since the 5 year old has been born I've started several projects, contributed to a few open source projects and not made a lot of money.

My whole goal for side projects was based on wanting to provide more for my family. I thought if I could bring in more money we could move to a better home and I could provide nicer things for them. Funny how after having a kids material possessions of your own mean so little but you want the world from them.

Here's what I would do if I could do it all over again. I wouldn't have side projects, I'd have hobbies. I'd not focus so much on the hobbies that it impacted the relationship with my children. I'd worry less about making money right now, and focus more on what my family as a whole needs right now.

It's been a slow learning experience for me. Where I'm at now is I still poke around and try to learn. It really is a hobby for me. I like programming and my day job doesn't give me as much opportunity for creative programming as I'd like. I'm a devops sysadmin. I get to play with super expensive engineering projects like Citrix and 6 figure CMS systems. I get to do lots of scripts, implementing chef and nagios. However, I like to build things, so that's what I do as a hobby now.

I've dropped all focus from making money on my projects. With me not focusing on money I can drop a project for weeks at a time to focus on other things. Remodeling a bathroom or dealing with the extra running around for my daughters first ballet recital.

I also stopped focusing on having enough money to try and get the family to where I want it to be as far as new home right this second. Part of that mindset is why I insisted my wife work after the second baby was born. She didn't work for the first 2 years our 5 year old was born. She was miserable. She hated working and not having that time with the baby, and it was obvious the baby didn't like daycare or being with grammy most the day either. Nothing can replace mommy.

In January my wife quit her job. She got an offer for a job making a lot more money, she turned it down. The house is in much better shape. From cleanliness to just over all mood of everyone in the household. I'm all in on my day job 100% and I've been much more productive there because I've only focused on my family and the job. As such, I've gotten decent raises and a promotion in the past few years.

Lots of unexpected expenses have come up. I've learned that we don't need to buy a lot, and instead of focused on knocking out doubt and putting extra money into the house so we can slowly prep it to sell while waiting for real estate value to increase. My house depreciated a lot, however I live near DC so we are seeing a recovery.

The past few months I've completely stopped focusing on the idea of making money from my projects. It's been extremely hard. I often get the bug that if I just finish the one app I can bring in more money. Something always distracts me, that something usually being something I need to do for the family. I've learned to accept that having that distraction it's what's better for me in my life and for the lives of my kids.

One thing I've also realized is that I'm going to have a ton of time later to work on side projects. The level of independence my older child shows compared to the baby is remarkable. Taking the time to focus on the job that provides a regular paycheck while spending the rest of my time being Dad and Husband rather than Entrepreneur is what I believe is best for everyone now.

I've also started focusing on myself. My myself I mean my health. I waited until I was in my 30's to have kids. I want to meet my grandkids. I've been eating healthier, getting some exercise and making sure I get enough sleep.

When I'm an old man I expect to measure whether I'm a success or not to be the children I raised and not any company I've formed. Maybe I can give my kids the headstart that they can create something amazing before they're ready to settle down and raise a family themselves.

Just to be clear, I haven't given up on the side projects. I've just reclassified them. I've still got 2 websites up that work, and I continue to work on them. I'm learning 2 new languages this year. Ruby at work for chef and Go to rewrite one of my python/zeromq apps in to see if it's easier to maintain. Maybe when the kids are older I'll have time to pursue one of my sites as a real business. Heck, I'll probably still make a few stabs at it before they're older. Right now as I write this, I hope I fail for a few more years. It's awesome watching how many new things my kids can learn in a week. It's great being the one to teach them a few of them.