> Here I have an EV and domestic p.v. in an apartment I've had a garage, but no p.v. possible, also consuming space for a heat-pump water heater and for main heating is not that easy, in a home no issues.

That stuff is inherently a lot less efficient to do on individual scale. In a city you can have shared boilers, CHP plants piping steam to the neighbourhood and the like.

> Not only, in term of mere raw materials just grab a project of any high rise buildings and compare that with any single-family home project multiplied by the number of apartments: you'll easily see that the high rise building demand MUCH MORE materials than many homes.

I doubt that claim even for skyscrapers, and they're the exception rather than the rule even in a megacity. Terraces of 5 stories or thereabouts - the stereotypical Paris building or New York brownstone - very clearly use a whole lot less material per person than single family homes.

> And they demand large supply chain as well, witch means highways, railways of a significant size, because people need to eat as well and they are many in a restricted area, enlarging even more the infra costs... Roads in a spread areas are lighter, do not demand much complex infra.

You're forgetting to normalize by population! Low density areas need a lot more road per person and that all costs. If the same road is serving 1000x as many people, then even if they're getting their supplies from 100x as far (which is a pretty high estimate), that's still a huge reduction in infrastructure costs.

> Where I am now we are few homes spread in a dead-end road, but with a small park aside, few activities a 10' walking, a small lake a 12', a small river with enough water in the spring to canoe a bit on the north side and so on. It's far different than a big lot of homes and nothing else.

Yeah, people living in a place like that are consuming and polluting a whole lot more on average, as well as producing less. Producing all the good stuff we rely on - not least that EV and PV you're going on about - requires large numbers of people working in the same place. And people like to be able to choose what they buy and who they spend time with.

> Electricity grids all over the world are LESS and LESS reliable due to growing demands, generation issues and climate change, there is NO WAY to keep them up reliably in a changing world, so the same for roads, rails, water supply and so on, that's why we talk about "resiliency", because modern countries, cities are damn fragile and inflexible.

Keeping a grid reliable is a lot easier than keeping a bunch of complex technology working in a spread out area. Who repairs your PV when it breaks? Who replaces the battery in your EV when it wears out, which they do pretty quickly? Where and how do they get the parts (and what do they do with the one they're disposing of)?

> So it's different the social life part: in large cities I normally not even know many if not most of my neighbors, here's families pass kids one to another normally, (almost) anyone cheers (almost) anyone else and casual parties in the garden are far common from spring to autumn. Something never seen in cities.

Seen in my city all the time. With the difference that those in minority groups also get a chance to socialise with people like them from time to time.

> Keeping stuff to me means waste FAR LESS, well, because I'm attentive on what and how to keep. For instance means less packaging: I do not buy pre-cut cured meat under plastic, I buy entire hams, mortadella etc I cut in 2cm thick slices, freeze them, unfreeze one at a time, slicing them as thin as I wish. I do not buy bottles of wine but a couple of demijohns at a nearby producer, filling them with a pump, and i bottle them at home, with the same bottles every years. Similarly i buy olive oils in 10l batches filling the same bottles as needed.

Bet that stuff ends up more environmentally damaging to produce that way. Overly stringent food safety rules are a separate issue, but generally that disposable packaging has won out because it's efficient.

> Having more appliance if one breaks I'm not in a rush for another so potentially on scale the delivery of a new one and disposal of the old one can be scheduled for maximum efficiency.

So you use extra appliances the whole time just for the sake of the rare case when one breaks?

> In case of a disaster the resulting emergency is far less "urgent" than in a city because most homes have a certain degree of autonomy and we are able to help ourselves and each others.

Depends. There are a lot more people in the city to help each other out, and there's a better mesh of connections. If someone falls down or gets lost, someone will likely find them (unless they're the kind of person who chooses to live very privately). If the local doctor is injured, there's another not too far away. If one road or rail line is blocked, there's a route around.

> It's not easy to dimension anything but try and i've no doubt you'll reach the same conclusions I've reached.

Nope. Like, maybe your personal lifestyle is more efficient than a city dweller, but the way you're talking about living is something only a tiny minority would ever do. Most people don't WFH, most people don't and can't set up or fix their own electrics, most people buy the biggest house they can and then fill it up with crap they don't use, most people won't put much intentionality into their shopping, most people want to socialize with particular people or particular kinds of activities that just won't exist in a small town. If you advocate for low density living, what you're going to get is endless car commuters who sleep out there but work and shop in the cities, not only consuming a bunch themselves but also bringing noise and pollution and demands for car infrastructure that mess up the cities for those of us who live there.

The part you are right about is that living in a real community where you know your neighbours is important, both for good living and for resilience. But that's got nothing to do with density; the west may have destroyed the community of its cities, but it doesn't have to be that way.