Women may not have trouble finding sexual partners... but sometimes I lurk on r/twoxchromosomes and they seem to have anything but success when it comes to finding mates that any sane person would consider. I do not think they have significantly more success in these matters.

And, given the rough 1:1 ratio of men to women, and the relative 1:1 ratio between gays and lesbians, any significantly large group of male incels seems to indicate a similarly sized group of women.

Women likely don't have any advantages here. There are some social norms that have been upended, where it's somewhat possibly safer for them to make the first approach, but that only helps if they're in the presence of a suitable candidate.

> What weird kind of creep goes to church to pick up women?

Why would that make them a creep? If there are women there, women who very likely want to marry, given what we know of religious people, then there doesnt' seem to be anything creepy at all about it.

While the church leaders and the congregants would likely tell you that the church exists for many other things besides, included in their list would most likely be one item something like "to find and meet like-minded people, and to help those searching to settle down and live the sort of life they are advocating (marriage, family, etc)".

We were, after all, talking about long-term relationships (and in particular marriage) and not Tindr hookups.

> And why do some people think that all social interaction with the opposite sex has to be aimed at some kind of sexual / romantic end game?

Why would anyone think otherwise, would be a better question. Some people who hold a somewhat "progressive" view of the world insists that men and women are perfectly substitutable, and that they exists for reasons other than the biological imperative. For such people, men and women fraternizing should only happen so that they can be friends, and if there is some "romantic spark", then this is at best an unfortunate side effect that should never be sought or hoped for.

It's really anti-human.

> Approaching it with the goal of sex / dating

We weren't talking about that. We were talking about long term relationships, and not Tindr hookups. While it's true that there was a historical era where dating existing primarily towards that end, by the 1980s that certainly wasn't true. That change correlates loosely with the decline of the use of the term "courtship", and with the ascent of the term "dating" (but not perfectly).

> Approaching it with the goal of sex / dating in mind might actually be part of the problem...

The opposite is true. Approaching it as if there is some other reason confuses many people, causes them to hesitate and postpone, and just generally interferes in men and women pairing up. Even when people in those circumstances find someone else, the other person tends to be non-committing, and they wait around hoping that will change... wasting time they probably don't have on poor candidates.

Have you ever heard someone talk about how they've been engaged to their boyfriend for 9 years? Or, how they're even reluctant to call them boyfriend/girlfriend anymore, tend to use the word "partner" alot?

There's some extreme dysfunction going on, and modern instincts are to double down on that dysfunction in the bizarre hope that somehow things will improve.