> But your main point seems to have been about home security and having a gun in your home is very possible. Unless you live somewhere with tighter gun laws than germany?

No, you are completely right, I had forgotten about that possibility!

Indeed, my main worry with gun laws in Europe is about home security, where the advantages can outweigh the drawbacks if you have a high risk profile, not about carrying them in public which I think could lead to other problems.

The hunting guns are much better than nothing, that's for sure!

> (Also most abductions for ransom happen outside, easier to snatch someone from the road, than come into his home)

From my experience (i.e. the many cases I'm familiar with, not that I've been a victim), this is not true, although I'm also familiar with cases like you describe.

But perhaps I'm simply not familiar with the cases that you know about, or about general statistics. I'm more familiar about cases similar to my risk profile.

> But you can also surprise them with security, they were not aware of and after that initial attack advantage, time is on your side. (Emergency call and panic room).

There are scenarios of home invasion for kidnapping purposes that I'm familiar with, which have really happened in Europe not too long ago, and which are impossible to defend against without extreme measures or very significant lifestyle changes, even taking into account what you just mentioned (which I'm obviously familiar with) but I really don't feel comfortable sharing more information.

> Yeah, because a common bodyguard mainly creates visibility.

Indeed, but even ignoring that (and the cost which is usually not a problem in these circumstances) there can also be quite a few more drawbacks that you didn't mention, but again, I don't really want to get into it.

> And the best defense is to not let the attacker know you exist as a target.

Not always possible, but completely agreed in-so-far as you can achieve that as much as possible!

I consider this to be one of the most important goals, assuming you are not a famous person already.

But even then, over the years there have been literally dozens of people who have become familiar with the riskiest part of my situation due to things that are completely outside my control, like different types of legislation which actually force me to disclose the most critical parts of my personal information to dozens of strangers for different (although usually similar) reasons.

Several databases also contain this critical information.

These strangers I mentioned are unlikely to lead to problems themselves, but information can travel easily or be leaked, and it's still an increase in risk.

> And all in all I have to say, that you do sound quite paranoid.

Yes, I'm 100% aware of that :) Don't think I haven't been told this by many people who are not entirely familiar with my situation.

That said, all of the people who have been aware of the details of my situation have shared exactly the same worries as me, and this includes people who have motivation to tell me the harsh truth rather than simply humoring me.

But of course, I try to share all of my details with as few people as possible, for obvious reasons.

In these kind of high-risk stakes, I make sure to really seek honest feedback rather than confirming my biases, because I just want to get the most useful information to make the best decisions I can, accepting that I can be very ignorant about things which I knew almost nothing about (like physical/personal security). The professionals who have assessed my situation have been really clear about all the stupid, unrealistic worries that I had, as well as all the things that I should be really worried about. They have also provided me with a numerical estimate of my personal risk (hopefully much less biased than my perceptions), along with justifications.

Yeah, I know I may be unreasonably paranoid, but on the other hand, are you really paranoid if they are really out to get you? lol!

> And I cannot think of too many professions, where that paranoia in europe is warranted and where you do not have professional security assigned to you, or where you do in fact get permission to carry a weapon.

Indeed, but there are many drawbacks to the solutions you are proposing and not many benefits in my particular situation, although I admit my situation is unusual. But really, I am already sharing more than I am comfortable with.

> If the walls you build around you are too tight, you eventually just build your own prison.

Indeed! That's why you need a good balance and accept some risk, because it's simply not possible to completely avoid it. But since I could afford to, I couldn't help but to take the most reasonable and "lowest hanging fruit" steps I could take to protect my family, under the circumstances.

Imagine not caring very much and then something really bad happens to your child or spouse, how would you feel?

Now, I can at least say that I did put a lot of effort into it, so even if something bad happens, it will be much, much easier for me to accept that the circumstances were simply outside my control.

This actually touches on something I was told by the security professionals I mentioned: some (although very few) of the security measures we've decided to take don't actually provide a meaningful amount of security, but even a tiny incremental improvement disproportionately contributed to us becoming more worry-free / experiencing greater piece of mind and being happier (but of course, this only works if it doesn't continuously affect your quality of life).

And the other thing to mention is that no matter what you do, some things are simply outside your control, so there's no point in obsessing over them, it's just something you have to accept. I think we have been extremely good in this area.

So I am happy to report that after the initial effort was finished (which lasted a few months), we have been able to live with a lot less worries and almost no decrease in quality of life for quite a few years already :)