> Couldn't get girls to look at me.

Yeah. Spent more time there than not.

> And whatever amount of money you need to make is determined by the women you are trying to attract.

You deliver this like it dwarfs all other factors considered by superior women. I grew up around those women and I know that that isn't remotely true.

> If you're already in a relationship and have responsibilities (ie: kids) that's different. You obviously can't abdicate preexisting responsibilities and I'm not suggesting that anyone do such a thing.

You've just advocated working one's way out of poverty while in a relationship.

> why are you waiting for a high paying job?

I never said waiting. That came from you.

> you should be focusing on developing a high earning skill.

Yes and I addressed that. You next toss out a number of niche jobs that only a small segment of the public is well adapted to. You offered up statistical anomaly as if window washing was a path anyone could take to a high salary.

You also fairly well hurdle-over the issue where the number of high paying jobs is a fraction of the working age population. Based on your assertion and it's underlying tone, if people are [NEGATIVE ADJECTIVE] enough to lose the employment lottery, they deserve being deprived of the supportive intimate relationships that successful people depend on to be successful.

> If you are living in america, you're already setup with advantages that can put you ahead if you take advantage of them.

We'll take this point on and assume we're discussing white, binary males without crippling health issues, the group it is mostly likely to be true for. For every community of men, who each work consistently hard and well, some eventually land in fortunate positions and some will not. This is reality in America.

For all other groups, the percentage who navigate America well and eventually land in fortunate positions will be less.

I believe I have one example of that dynamic, clever, opportunity seizing ideal you seem to have in your head, me. I talked and taught myself into a lifetime of technical jobs, mostly self employed. I spent a life pulling off the unlikely. I eventually wound up running IT for a region of car dealerships - until the 2008 crash. I pivoted and worked my way into medical support and the ACA put my indy medical clients out of business. I pivoted to corp medical, picked up some big clients and my wife became psychotic - and that led to a decade of my family living in frequent hunger.

A quick note that hiding poverty is mandatory while trying to mine life for opportunities (poverty spooks people). That effort consumes significant energy and resources, which are scarce.

One thing about survivor bias. It fairly well divides people who think they understand broad realities of life from those who do. Once I landed squarely on this side of it, I learned the millions who don't make it have stories a lot like mine.

The American Dream® mentality assumes that life will eventually run out of the worst circumstances, the ones that take down the most tenacious opportunists. For some that's true. For the rest, they learn that life can very well keep it up for 3 or 4 decades. Meaningful social safety nets can mitigate that and allow folks to escape feedback loops a lot sooner. But get that boost, folks have to live in states where those safety nets exist. I don't.

I did finally work my way out of extreme poverty (wife left to become homeless & vulnerable, which allowed the rest of us to make progress). By mid 2021 we had months of living expenses saved up. Yet, like other folks with money in the bank, we nearly became homeless because there was suddenly 1 rental available for each, I don't know - maybe 400 (maybe 1000) applicants. We did manage to beat astronomical odds again and am housed.

It was just in time to come up against ageism. For those of us here, some will succeed and my efforts will be as diligent as theirs. Even so, we all know we're competing for the same shrinking pool of opportunities - and connections aren't as powerful as they used to be.

> So I stopped drinking with my coworkers and started spending my money on books instead.

Sober at 22 and only spent on strict necessities for the next 30 years.

> but you have to live in the world as it is.

Yes. Knowing the world as it really is seems important too.