Ask HN: Does attempting to finish my CS degree make sense?
I've had several people, like relatives and counselors, suggest that I try to finish my CS degree I attempted to get over a decade ago. Does it this make sense for me to do that at this point, given the issues I have?

Because I don't want the stuff I talk about here following me offline or to my primary online user name, I'm using a separate account, and will be kind of vague describing some things.

I'm in my mid-30s and currently work as a grocery night stocker. I've liked programming since I first used GW-BASIC on the 286 I got for Christmas, and originally planned to work in programming, but I'm terrible at getting decent grades. So even though I could do the work better than everyone else I ran across in college (although this is more them being terrible than me being particularly good), and don't have any major behavior problems (e.g. Terry Davis), I wasn't able to graduate due to a low GPA. As it stands, I'm screwed once the people supporting me die off, and everything I've tried to do to improve things has been a failure. I don't feel like I have any meaningful influence over my life, no matter what I try.

I'm mostly interested in systems and embedded programming. I mostly write C and assembly (several different ISAs) since those are my best options on the hardware I write for, but I've also done some C++, Java, Forth, and Python. I still program, mostly doing retro gaming stuff, since it's similar to what I'm interested in. I've also done stuff for my dad (all simple things to help control some device how he wants to).

I had an explanation of different problems related to whether or not I should attempt to get the degree again, but I wasn't ready for the 4000 character limit. This is the hyper-hyper-abridged version, with more detail below:

If I got the degree, I'm not sure I could convince anyone to hire me due to my age (without professional experience to counter balance) and difficulty talking, and moving to a place with jobs is difficult (currently taking care of relative, and housing issues). I'm also not sure I could get the degree because I am terrible at doing stuff required for good grades (bad at rote memorization (but still good at learning processes) and working totally alone (but do great with other people)). University said that there's absolutely nothing they can do to help me with it. I've gone to different counselors and therapists, but they've never done much more than suggest I pretend I don't have problems, or try what failed before and hope it goes differently (for no reason).

The major questions I have are: Would I be able to get any meaningful return from a degree if I was able to get it? If I do try to get it, what would improve my odds of getting it? If I manage to get it, where should I go from there? What should I be doing to improve my future, in general? How do I get myself to do things I want to (or don't want to)? But any kind of advice would be appreciated.

Also, I'm not happy with my current job at all, I've wanted to try to find something else for a while, even if it's not programming related. I know this might sound stupid, but the main issue I have at my current job is that I spend pretty much the entire time there thinking uncontrollably about everything terrible in my life. I hoping a change of scenery might help break or stall that habit. There are other, more concrete, annoyances like the health insurance has been continuously getting worse over time (losing dental, then vision, and now I have to pay $120 per month if I don't want an $8,000 deductible). It would also be nice to be able to see daylight more. Given how I failed to get hired on my own before, it's hard to be positive about my chances of getting hired somewhere else, but it's been a while since then, so maybe things are somehow different now somehow?

Should I try to find some place else to work, or are there are good reasons to endure where I am for now? Any tips related to this?