Except you're focusing on the wrong part of the problem here. Most oligarchs are building huge wealth not only so that they can control their own existence without any interference but also so that their children will be able to enjoy that multi-generational wealth. They want to be seen as dynasty builders.

The solution should be to eat their children instead so that, for them, we have removed the incentive to hold such massive wealth as there will be no one to inherit.

We'd still need to make that legal though and figure out a good spice mix and vegetable accompaniment. These are not insurmountable problems though.

The first thing can be handled by initially making it legal among societies with a known history of cannibalism since it would not be a stretch for them. It can be portrayed as them making an effort to rediscover their lost traditions. Documentary filmmakers can follow their journey of discovery and someone with an accent can do a dry narration punctuated with bits of inside jokes.

Then, using the power of social media to brainwash on a huge scale we could normalize this deviance by portraying these cannibal societies in a flattering way, mentioning their cannibalism in an offhand way but emphasizing more their strong connections to nature, their local environments and their reverence for tropical sunsets, bright colors smeared on their body parts, and non-obvious astronomical alignments.

We already see, every day, the power of advertisers and marketers to convince ordinary people to buy, use, or believe things that most of us understand are probably bullshit. Therefore we should begin by marketing these products to Americans. Employ those marketers to shift focus from pot legalization, where they have scored some wins after only a generation or two of effort, to reduction of financial crime and destruction of oligarchies by adding children of the oligarchs to the food supply. Congress and the FCC likely will, after appropriate levels of lobbying and graft, support legislation allowing televised commercials for products made from oligarch children to be shown during major sporting events and prime time TV shows. It will take a little money to make this happen but there's plenty out there for everyone and we can always just print more.

Of course, products like this will see minimal market penetration in the EU without some serious corruption and catchy advertising slogans. Their regulators are tough and they actually test food products before allowing them to market. They have to make sure that a Russian oligarch kid product was actually produced by a Russian in Russia as per tradition. We know that Americans can be convinced that all those unpronounceable food ingredients in their food must be there because it's all either good for them or it's somehow organic. They've been conditioned by marketing to believe it's better than all the stuff they routinely ate before producers jacked up prices and added organic labels to their product lines.

The EU is a bit more strict, disallowing all kinds of things Americans routinely consume. Therefore there must be considerable effort expended to shift perceptions of American food products and that is where the Linux fanboys come into the game. Their enthusiasm for Linux, in all thousand-and-one variants and obscure distros, has built a self-sustaining amalgam of business, government, and home users whose energies can be refocused to engender support among the general EU population for these children of the oligarchs products that their more discerning taste buds would typically ignore or reject.

With appropriate marketing, some street demonstrations in selected cities, and careful product placement at events like info-sec hackathons and Oktoberfest, EU citizenry can become heavy consumers too of products like tubular meat sticks (with spices!).

For any countries that reject these consumer products we can always send in the British. They've likely invaded the same countries in the past anyway and stirring up shit to rebuild empires makes as much sense as stirring up shit to build empires did. After all, they hauled William Wallace's preserved leg around as a show-and-tell example of what happens to someone who refuses to bow to their monarchy and ended up with an empire that stretched across every time zone. Biggest bullshitters anywhere. Bigger even than Texans and I'm a Texan so I know a bit about bullshit. This whole post is bullshit. There's no reason why they can't be the biggest salesmen for oligarch kid parts.

We just have to make sure, as a global community, that we don't come close to running out of oligarchs or their children as the market could be huge with the right players pushing the products. Supply must always be balanced with demand or non-oligarch children like our own could become commoditized.

Perhaps the industry would need to function in the homeopathic product space where infinite dilutions can be cleverly advertised to the clueless consumers as the perfect way to enjoy and benefit from the product. Maybe in the end we only need one oligarch kid, or just a toenail clipping, or like many over-the-counter supplements peddled to American consumers, we can simply list it as an ingredient but omit it entirely. We might not need any at all! Perception is key here and that is where the real power of advertising and marketing comes into play.

No one ever checks anyway. Capitalism rocks and we all just roll (over).

That's enough sarcasm for one post.