Do they?

I don't feel anguish over having the body I have, and I don't feel like I would be a better "man" if I had the body of Schwarzenegger. I can honestly say that I am happy with my body; I'm not perfect and I'm not muscular, but I am fairly healthy and I don't have a huge number of complaints about myself. I don't dislike seeing myself and I don't really want to look like a body-builder. Certainly I'm not covering up mirrors in my house.

I would not describe any experience I've had wanting to exercise more or to be able to get away with shaving less often as "painful" and I wouldn't say it gives me mental anguish. Not to say that anyone who says otherwise about themselves is lying, but... I don't know, I'm not sure that's as completely universal or typical as people are suggesting. Maybe if you're in that boat that's something to talk to someone about.

I think body positivity among transgender communities can be a real issue, and there's a huge number of ways that issue can be tackled and there are a number of real conversations to be had about how society reinforces body dysphoria among trans people. My understanding is that self-acceptance is a really big part of being trans and I've seen accounts of transgender people talking about how transitioning was only one part of accepting. And not to make the issue too grey, but I have seen transgender people talk about how self-acceptance and self-acknowledgement of their gender did lesson their dysphoria; that learning to stop saying "I would be gender X if I did Y" and to start saying "I am gender X regardless of whether I do Y" helped them accept their own body more. So of course there's a role for counseling in this.

But that's a conversation that HN is really just not ready to have at all. Looking at this post and looking at the amount of people arguing about whether or not gender dysphoria exists -- I did not realize that was a thing that this community was still debating; that's a pretty large amount of disconnect for this forum to have from the real world. There is room for subtlety and nuance in talking about how self-image affects transgender identity, and if you go into transgender communities, you will see people having that conversation. Genuinely, medically transitioning isn't the right choice for every transgender person and it doesn't magically solve every problem for every person, there is a psychological level of acceptance that needs to happen for a lot of transgender people.

But if you want to have that conversation... I mean, you've got to get the basics out of the way first; you have to be able to understand that there's a difference between general disappointment with your body or goals about your body and full-on dysphoria and disconnection from that body.

It's a little bizarre to read and it reminds me a lot about the conversations that happen sometimes about ADHD. "Everyone has trouble focusing", "everyone gets distracted", "I get distracted all the time constantly and can never follow up on tasks and I feel intense anguish about it and am constantly restless and need to be moving to feel calm and I don't have ADHD" (well maybe you should get that checked, friend). If someone is genuinely feeling dysphoria about their body to the same degree as a transgender person going through puberty, that's not normal and you should talk to someone about it.

It doesn't mean you're transgender or that you need surgery (although there is a lot of gender affirming care that we offer to cisgender people, from laser hair removal to hair growth/plugs, and honestly the assumption that people need to be transgender or have dysphoria to get gender-affirming care is not really accurate in our modern-day society, we spend an intense amount of time in our society consuming products and taking actions that are primarily designed to make ourselves look a certain way). But I want to get across that most people don't have a physical reaction when they see themselves in the mirror. That level of extreme experience is not universal, it's not something that everyone goes through.

Sure, lots of people have aspects of their body that they would change, but... not to that level of extreme. Not to the level where it interferes with their daily life or increases their risk of self-harm.