I felt the same way for years.

In general I’m persuaded that the Graph Mind is not evil (https://joeldueck.com/graph-mind.html), and that FOMO and being plugged in are good, functional instincts. So I don’t really make an effort to tamp down on my consumption.

However I’ve also found that using my creativity, making things, and being able to share things I’ve made ARE crucial to how rewarding it feels to “be online” in general. (https://joeldueck.com/being-in-the-graph-mind.html)

Your consumption probably feels shallow because you don’t have anything creative to work on that feels more interesting and rewarding than whatever else you’re doing.

The only way for that to change is to force yourself to start working on something. It isn’t until you start that ideas start to come. But of course, when you’re tired, this is EXTREMELY difficult.

Here’s how I’ve been able to climb out of that hole:

1. My kids got old enough to sleep through the night.

2. Eventually my wife and I had a hard conversation about how important creativity is to me and how to make space for it in our lives. This unblocked me mentally and creatively quite a lot even though nothing materially changed for some time after. Up till then I had been silently martyring my personal time for anything that came up and never having anything left over. Having the issue out in the open and understood by those close to you is a huge relief by comparison.

3. Months before this conversation, we had another hard conversation about my work schedule. I’d gotten burned out on a huge project, which had finished, but gotten me into the habit of leaving work at 6 or 7 every day. Another case of poor boundary-setting and not being honest with myself. I stopped doing that; I now leave work at 5pm every day. Fortunately I’m in a position to be able to do that.

3. I focused (and still focus) on small, achievable projects (example https://dicewordbook.com), where I’d be able to make good progress in the one or two hours of time I have in a week where I’m both free and have energy.

3a. Nothing is too small. Anything counts. A well-written tweet counts. A handwritten page. Buying an item for a project counts.

Regarding the last one, Robin Sloan just had a newsletter (https://www.robinsloan.com/newsletters/sunshine-skyway/) where he articulates it very well:

> When you start a creative project but don’t finish, the experience drags you down. Worst of all is when you never decisively abandon the project, instead allowing it to fade into forgetfulness. The fades add up; they become a gloomy haze that whispers, you’re not the kind of person who DOES things.

> When you start and finish, by contrast — and it can be a project of any scope: a 24-hour comic, a one-page short story, truly anything — it is powerful fuel that goes straight back into the tank. When a project is finished, it exits the realm of “this is gonna be great” and becomes something you (and perhaps others) can actually evaluate. Even if that evaluation is disastrous, it is also, I will insist, thrilling and productive. It’s the pump of a piston, preparing the engine for the next one.

> Unfinished work drags and depresses; finished work redoubles and accelerates.