I kind of agree that online dating has actually exacerbated existing issues rather than solving them. It's not even about the companies (eg Match) either. They simply follow what works. This is kind of a touchy subject because if you're not careful you can wander into the manosphere and become red-pilled (or, worse, black-pilled) and no good will come from that.

For convenience, let me describe this in the hetero-normative sense. Obviously this isn't th eonly dynamic at play and is not universal but there are some useful trends that (IMHO) can be extrapolated.

1. Men fear being rejected. Women fear being SAed, abducted, trafficked, beaten and/or killed. You cannot overstate how important this is. As such, women tend to be wary and will try and find signs and create rules to quickly filter people out;

2. (IMHO) Women aren't actually that good at filtering. Specifically, there is a significant correlation between traditional physical attractiveness and "trustworthiness" [1]. This extends to serial killers too [2].

3. Online dating rewards a set of skills that don't have all that much to do with relationships. People who master those skills tend to do very well. If their potential partners aren't looking for that and don't recognize it, they will be dissatisfied;

4. Men (in the hetero-normative sense) put in very little effort and somehow still have high expectations. Going to the gym by itself could put you ahead of the pack;

5. There are people who use dating apps as entertainment (eg they have no intention of meeting). If that's not what you want, you need to learn to filter that out ASAP;

6. As noted, women get a lot of messages and attention. Men, generally, get far less (each). This is exacerbated by men dominating dating apps in general.

My general advice for anyone to avoid falling down the Andrew Tate rookie hole is to, if you're a man:

1. Pay for premium and simply swipe right on everybody. Don't even look. Do this for half an hour once a week. Actually looking at a profile before deciding how to swipe is a poor use of time because each swipe is low probability no matter who you are. Only look at profiles for matches. You can always unmatch if you're not interested;

2. Your goal is to get to a meeting ASAP. It should be low investment too. Coffee, a walk (somewhere public), a museum, etc. There's no need and no point to spend a lot of money on first dates. Time management matters so do 3-4 1 hour blocks in a night, for example.

3. Don't take rejection personally. Just say "nice meeting you" and move on. This is part of the point of arranging a number of dates so you don't get over-invested too early in any particular prospective partner. Realize that even those you consider the most attractive still get rejected;

4. Don't tie your value in a relationship to your external status (eg job, car, how much money you spend, clothes, accessories). At best, you're probably attracting the wrong kind of partner (unless, you know, you want a sugar baby, which is all fine if consensual).

5. Put in some effort. You'll be surprised how far the bare minimum will get you regarding appearing groomed, clothed appropriately and even moderately fit and healthy. Go to the gym. Lift weights.

6. Avoid "yes or no" questions. Listen to the answers. Don't view it as a problem to be solved eg if someone is having problems with someone at work they're almost certainly not ask you to solve it for them.

7. Understand that women deal with a lot of shit (and, don't forget, actual danger). Be cognisant of that. Your idea of pushing and persistence may actually legitimiately scare someone and may rise to the level of a crime. You're not owed any explanation either. On the other side, realize women too can have toxic traits or simply traits you're not interested in. The term "femcel" exists for a reason. If and when that happens, it's because of that individual, not an indictment on an entire gender.

8. Whatever you do, don't get red-pilled.

[1]: https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/146144481667544...

[2]: https://www.abc.net.au/news/2019-02-01/ted-bundy-why-the-ser...