As a millennial with a spouse and with similar discussions everyday, let me clearly express my problems.

* I had to work extremely hard to get to the current income level. It took 16 years of schooling with good grades, outside school activities and recommendations , all just to get into a top state school for college. A failure in any step in those 16 years could have derailed my path.

* After gaining that admission, I had to take an exorbitant debt for the privilege of studying in that university. A failure/low grades/lack of internships at any time could have derailed my path. In fact, a lot of my peers suffered because we graduated around 2008 recession.

* I had to relocate to a new city after graduation for a new job. The relocation could have been an expensive mistake for someone graduating with an enormous debt - see rescinded offers.

* I had to work hard at my job to avoid PIPs and unreasonable management. Any one performance review was enough to derail my life. I absolutely needed the job until I paid off my student loans.

* A few years in, I got laid off because the department was shut down. Which means that I needed to find a new job asap to continue my healthcare and student loan repayments. I got a new job but the experience of a sudden layoff severely affected my understanding of what it means to be a worker.

* More years later, I realized that promotions are impossible. The system is set up to suck your labor for limited rewards. So start looking for a new job. This was also the time when leetcode started booming. So, all my education was kind of worthless because I needed leetcode university education to get a new job that paid me enough. And I prepared for months/years. I failed over 20 times to get the next job.

* At the next job, I had to start from scratch again because the tools of the trade keep changing. Tools in 2022 are enormously different from 2012. Keeping up with tools, systems, bugs, performance reviews just to keep the job.

* Dating was hard and I struggled to find a compatible partner for so many years because I was so focused at work for such a long time. I genuinely did not have enough time/experience to grow mature relationships with the opposite sex. But luckily I stumbled upon someone who was very compatible with me and my lifestyle. Only problem, she was in a different state.

* Repeat the job searching process, leetcode and interview process, tools learning process and performance review process in a new state.

* Finally, my partner and I felt stable until the pandemic hit and we got cut off from our families and friends. We struggled with healthcare and fertility issues. It was clear that pregnancy was going to be difficult.

* Then comes inflation raising the prices of everything.

* Then comes recession causing layoffs, meaning we lose the healthcare system needed to treat our fertility issues.

* Now we are sitting precariously wondering when one of us will lose our jobs and hoping we can continue to get ahead.

But here's the thing - at any point in our lives, things could have been derailed easily. Systems in America are too precarious.

We had it good so far. We don't have any more student debt. We have good healthcare so far. We have financial stability. We have everything a person could reasonably hope for. Not everyone has this kind of luck. Not everyone works in tech to reap the high salaries. Not everyone goes through life without medical issues. Not everyone has good health insurance. How are you expecting them to think about bringing children and raising them for years?

If lucky millennials struggle, how would unlucky ones even do it? Nobody is happily looking forward to having children. Life is far too uncertain, far to flakey. Systems break far too much for people to safely start a family.