I feel for you brother.

For your kids to be successful, their life strategies have to take into account the environment they're living in. Basic game theory stuff. Play chess, not checkers.

The world I was hoping my kids would live in no longer exists, and so those old strategies no longer work. In fact, they put you at a disadvantage. This is why people who "play by the rules" feel left out, disenfranchised, whatever.

So, in a world where "bad behavior" gets you ahead, how can one live a good life? And by good I don't mean materially good, but ethically/morally good (which I think is a foundation from which other good things follow). Used to be that prosperity and ethics/morals were more correlated, today not so much. I'd like my children to be prosperous enough to take care of themselves and their families, while also contributing to their communities and fellow citizens (kindness to others, and kindness shown in return). That's a hard prescription to fill these days.

So, what strategies can you use in today's environment to maximize your children's chance of building/living in that world?

I don't have the answers, but this is the best I've come up with so far and is working for me.

- Be kind to others first, in order to quickly determine what kind of person you're dealing with. It serves as a litmus test, trust but verify, etc. If they're decent people they'll show kindness in return. If they don't, then best you find out quickly. At that point you don't owe them kindness, as this is a person that doesn't share the same social contract that you do. Protect yourself from these people as you would protect yourself from an enemy (I said protect, not attack). Continue to show kindness, but on your terms. Cut ties and move on quickly when necessary. Do not lose sleep over people like this, as you are simply a means to an end for them. I tell my kids when you meet people like this do your best to stay out of their way, but don't be afraid to confront when they continue to walk into your crosshairs. It's you or them at that point, and all bets are off.

- When you find good people, double down on them. Cut the others out of your personal life, and quickly. This rule also applies to your job. If you're not working for the right kind of people, try to move on as fast as possible. There are good employers out there.

- Keep your head down and weather the storm. Bad times come and go. Good times return.

- Keep your your mouth closed. Your personal politics are not welcome in the public sphere any longer. Wrongthinking is punished. The more you reveal the more can be weaponized against you. This includes nearly all of day to day social media. I'm breaching my code posting personal stuff here, but this is about the best forum I've found online for honest dialog.

- Focus on the small things you can control, don't fret about how your neighbors are living their lives. Appreciate the small joys that your small circle brings to you.

- Understand that what you see in the media is a very warped distortion of reality. The media is a spectacle, it does not represent what 99% of day to day life is about. This includes all of social media. Ground yourself by looking outside your window. It's not that bad out there.

- Have confidence and believe in the kind of life you are building around you. Don't let the naysayers tear you down. The modern world is powered by FOMO and doubt. Do not allow these attitudes to take root in your life.

- You have power over your life and small circle. Do not be afraid to use it.

- Through it all, kindness and grace for others whenever possible.

Best of luck to you and your family.