Note to begin with… I didn’t intend this to be a wall of text when I started but that’s who it came out… sorry about that :-p But as it’s a WoT I’ll throw in a quick tl;dr: Sex and kink while great fun together, are not mutually inclusive.

Anyways, on with the WoT!

> I would have liked to see "age play" in the list though, it can be borderline pedophilia (adults acting as children)

It’s no more “borerline pedophilia” than “BDSM is abusing women”, or “pony play is sex is animals”

The Pedo thing gets brought up all the time but (speaking as a little - which is just one of my kinks) we don’t want to sleep with kids, we (well me, I should say we as that comes across as I’m speaking for everyone, but I’ve spoken to enough people also in this kink to get a general feel of what others enjoy too, but this is more the AB side of ABDL - Adult Bady/Diaper Lover, who those unaware of the terms) want to enjoy the freedom that comes shutting off the adult world for a few hours.

What my partner gets out of it is that she gets to be the loving caregiver and the authoritarian at the same time (we have always been a kinky couple with her “taking the lead (in more ways than one ;-)) in the bedroom).

She enjoys the power exchange that comes with it. This ranges from the simple things like choosing what I get to eat, ordering for me when we go out to eat, restricting alcohol consumption (little ones don’t drink beer after all), setting me a bedtime (and taking the measures necessary to make sure I stay in bed ;-)). To the more “extreme” things like taking control of one our most basic bodily functions, choosing when and how I get to relieve myself. Which leads onto the DL side of things.

Not all ABs are DLs, not all DLs are ABs but the two do often intersect. We stumbled into “diaper play” before the AB play because we are both into bondage (I like being tied up, she likes tying me up). I really enjoy being tied up, and one of the things I found annoying about it was the breaking of the scene for restroom breaks. I would be all nicely bound just swimming in subspace and BAM, I need a piss (and if I’ve had a beer or two and I break the seal, I’m pissing off to the loo often). This was annoying for both of us, I loved the binds, and she loved taking her time learning intricate rope bondage which takes time to apply esp if you’re trying something new. You spend all that time doing something for it only to get torn down because nature calls…

Well while venting her frustration about this at the local munch someone recommended to her “just put him in a diaper before tying him up, that way if he has got to go he can just go!”. So we started using them as “scene extenders” and you know what they say about not knocking things until you try them? Well yeah they kicked me in the butt… I found them rather comfortable to wear and enjoyed the humiliation of wearing and eventually having to use them.

During the post play aftercare, I would often still be wearing the thing while we cuddles and talked esp if had yet to be used for it’s intended purpose (heck decent quality adult diapers ain’t “cheap” and if you don’t want leaks you want decent quality!) so might as well make the most of it before disposing of it and as I said, I found them comfortable and humiliating at the same time, she was getting off on the longer play seasons (so was I) and control they gave her.

As time went on I wore them more often, even outside of our “play sessions“ because put them with a form of locking clothing (started with a simple chain and padlock around the belt loops of a pair of jeans, but progressed into specialised items such as locking diaper covers) and she could control when and where I used the restroom even while out and about.

She always liked the caregiving that came with aftercare after a scene. Subspace can be a wonderful high and I often need some time to come back to reality. After talking about our antics at one of the munches we got the push to try the AB side of things from some friends (who we didn’t know were into it) because it sounded like we were pretty much 90% the way there and they felt we would find it fun! So again, not knocking it till tried, we did and yeah it was like fitting that last puzzle piece and everything just clicked.

But we have been talking around the elephant in the room. Sex. We were sexually attracted to each other long before we discovered age play or even diapers, but we were both into kink before we met, I’m attracted to her mind (both in and out of the bedroom) and her body, I’m not sleeping with my “mother”, I’m sleeping with my partner, who just so happens to be my best friend, the person I want to share life with, the person I can be silly with too.

Sex and kink are not mutually inclusive, we rarely have sex while in little/caregiver headspace but even when we do, she isn’t picturing me as a child but me as me.