There's lots of back and forth in the comments about calories in, calories out, nutrition, etc. I went to school to become a dietitian, so I thought I'd chime in with my worldview.

Losing weight IS as simple as calories in, calories out. A pound of fat has about 3500 calories, so you must deficit slightly more than that (glycogen stores will buffer) to lose a pound. 2nd law of thermodynamics means there's no room for opinions here. It doesn't matter what medications you are on, what hormones you have, what body type you are, you must burn more calories than you consume to lose weight.

Now, why are people making this distinction? Well, my best guess is that it's because a few years ago there was a coordinated and highly visible campaign for body positivity, spearheaded by a number of models who were overweight/obese, which kind of went off the rails and claimed that in addition to being OK with their weight, that they were medically healthy and there was no downsides to their weight. They also circulated claims about why they were that weight, a number of which were in violation of the 2nd law of thermodynamics. As for obesity:health correlations? They are all bad, very bad.

That said, one thing body weight does not correlate with is self-worth. An overweight or obese person still has precisely the exact same self-worth as anyone else. This gets tricky, because many overweight people feel they should feel bad about their weight. In general, I don't disagree with that. It's your health, and you are responsible for it, so if you aren't taking care of it, feeling bad is a natural and valid response. Again, nothing to do with self-worth. Weight is not tied to self-worth in any way. Just like smoking cigarettes or any other destructive pattern. You should stop because it's bad. You are the only person capable of doing it - no one else can do it for you, stopping will be tricky, feeling bad about not stopping is natural and healthy, your value as a human being is independent of whether you stop or not.

All that said, it still leaves a glaring hole that sometimes gets misinterpreted as the root of the issue, which is that humans are complex biological systems, that, when dysfunctional, often get that calorie thing unbalanced. The game is rigged: evolution selected people who want to eat. Eating is pleasurable, mentally and physically. Food has never been this abundant, so we haven't selected much for moderation. Hormonal and other chemical imbalances, as a result of medical conditions or stress can tip the scales unfairly toward eating. Medications can make it hard to exercise, or stimulate appetite. Time, illness, diet, can all affect this complicated balance, and make it difficult or impossible to lose weight.

There are certain maxims: eat healthy. Well, if I eat more healthy food than I burn, I will gain weight. But healthy food will probably lead to better hormone balance, that might supress appetite (or not increase appetite), so maybe it's easier to eat less when you eat healthy. Another one is exercise. Exercise is good for your health, but it's a mixed bag for losing weight. For starters, exercise, especially cardio, barely burns any calories. Secondly, exercise is associated with overeating in many people. So exercise can help with calories out, but does little to help with calories in, sometimes even making it worse.

It all boils down to something like.... being overweight is bad for you. Feeling bad about being overweight is a normal, healthy response and you shouldn't lie to yourself about it. The only way to lose weight is to eat less than you burn. There is no magic bullet or way to sidestep that, so just accept it. It's not easy to eat less than you burn, so it's worth examining with a fine toothed comb why you might be eating too much, and there's all sorts of little things tht make calorie restriction harder or easier. So it's worth examining those. And regardless of where you are in that process, it has no impact on what you are worth as a person.