I donno! This turned into a ramble and it's already all typed up so ill just post it:

Some people view the world through a pinhole. Like an animal, only reacting to stimulus and stroking their ID and seeking to consume and control. These people are called 'sociopaths' and are pretty rare. It is unlikely this person's boss was a sociopath, they actually tend to have a lot of trouble in modern society because they act like assholes and fail to imitate important social cures, making them seem 'off.'

In the past I have had multiple people who I befriended, only later to be stalked and harassed by them because it turns out I was the last person who was tolerating their insane bullshit.

In effect, they were abusers. And often victims of abuse themselves, to be fair. They were merely repeating the patterns they had learned in the past. I am a victim of abuse, I think that is likely why my tolerance for such people is so high.

However, I do not abdicate my responsibility in enabling abusers. My mother would always say to my little sister: "If you give a mouse a cookie..." This is very true. Giving someone attention who is mean and does not deserve it makes you an asset to them: Abusers realize they can redirect their pain into you, and use you as a smoke screen to cover up their own bad behaviour. This is well documented. Check out DARVO[0] if you are curious.

Recently, I made another friend. But this time was different: I have been through this before. I sensed what kind of person this dude was, and even though it was painful to abandon someone, I told them I'm not interested in being their friend anymore. A few months later he went into a mental institution and I now see him going on insane screeds on LinkedIn, still insistent he is the victim and he has done nothing wrong. He is either oblivious or in denial about his own responsibilities in maintaining his life.

I had another bad experience with a boss who was trying to drive me out of a company because he wanted to hire his friend and we were out of head count. He did everything he could to bully me. We were once at one of my co-workers house for dinner and drinks and the trash can lid slammed shut and it made a bang.[1] He yelled at me like he was yelling at a dog. And fired me later in the month.

But, I'm not really haunted by these things. To this day, I pity these people. Why would you do what this person's boss does, Harm a friend out of some misplaced jealousy? Why would you bully me, a 24 year old kid fresh out of college just trying his best? Why would someone rape me as a child?

i was once riding home with my cousin's grandfather ( I was on his way into Chicago ), and he told me he was in Hitler Youth. I asked... what was that like? He paused for a long time, and then responded: "Some men will kill for fun."

These types of people are the same ones you see living on the streets. More of them are headed that way than you realize.

They are missing a piece of themselves. And that missing piece causes them pain and makes it hard to function in society. So they try to inflict the pain on other people ( make them feel socially rejected and inadequate ), or fill that void with drugs, or fuck up badly enough the only way they can move forward is to stab another person in the back.

Are these abusive people happy at this point? I highly doubt it.

Am I? Absolutely. I have a ton of friends, fulfilling hobbies, a great career, I'm good at my job, a wonderful partner, a fuzzy little cat, and I walk through this world with a light heart, full of light, because despite everything I've been through, I still strive to treat others with kindness and respect and have largely been successful at this.

I guess the point I'm trying to make is: Learn to identify these types of people, and do not share your light with them. Abandon fake friends. Abandon abusers. They are not worth it and it isn't your responsibility to fix them.

0: https://www.choosingtherapy.com/darvo/

1: It was a foot controlled one and I mean... get a piece of rubber for $2 off amazon for gods sake...