I will tell you like it really is.

1. Say what your product does and why its going to be major in a single sentence within the first 10 seconds of your presentation. With VCs you need to pitch the problem or the opportunity, they do not give a crap about your secret sauce until they understand they are dealing with a big opportunity. Secret sauce is a second order problem. You have exactly 20 seconds to get their attention before you meet he most arrogant, inattentive, distracted person you have ever encountered.

2. If 20 seconds have elapsed, take a look at your VC. If they are sitting up straight, or leaning on the table attentive, you have them - now GO. Your presentation should be no more than 10 slides, but preferably less than that. Your slides should be pictorial with as few words as possible. Words are your worst enemy, they remind the VC of competitors, portfolio companies, analyst reports, VC gossip, and other factors. Words turn into questions that interrupt the flow of your pitch. If your VC is distracted, looking at their phone, typing away on their iPad, move along quickly because this probably is not going to pan out. If someone in the room is still not paying attention, walk over and stand behind them while you continue to talk. That one works every time.

3. Never, ever, yield control of the pitch, you must maintain the flow of the conversation at all times. YOU are giving the presentation and THEY are your audience. Let a VC start talking and they will never fucking stop, and 20 minutes later you will be out of time and they will forget who you were and what you were talking about. Do not let your VC start telling you how it is, YOU tell THEM how it fucking is, get them to shut their mouth for 2 fucking seconds. This does not mean be rude, this means come fully prepared to ambush your VC when they mean to abush you. Know your competitors, know their products, know their customers, know their strengths, know their weaknesses. Be able to explain quickly and succinctly why your product or solution is going to own a particular market segment. Know your segment, love your segment, explain your segment at length.

4. Never, ever follow up. Its a complete waste of your time, and it makes you seem like you really need them. If a VC is interested you will know when they call you with next steps. Do not send them an email, do not call them, do not singing telegram them. Nothing. Go completely link dead. If your VC wants your slides, its up to you, but you don't have to give them anything. Speaking from experience, VCs share these slides with their portfolio companies in addition to their partners, and if its helping their portfolio its probably hurting you. Either way you are giving away your property for free, so I suggest you do not do that. If they want your property, they can cut you a term sheet and the check to go with it.

5. Meet with exactly 3 VCs a week. If you have not heard from a VC in 2 days, drop them and add a fresh VC. Never tell a VC the name of another VC you have met with, its none of their business, and its a HUGE disadvantage for you. VCs all know each other, and if they think someone smarter than them passed on your deal, they are going to pass too. Similarly, if they think someone smarter than them is interested, they are going to call that someone and try to do talk their way into the deal. If and when your VC hands you a term sheet, THEN you can disclose who else you are willing to bring to the table. Use your judgement to gauge VC seriousness.

And that is the way it really is. My advice to you is this: If there is a way, any remote way, that you can build and launch your product or service without raising venture capital, do it. Work a job if you have to, work two jobs if you have to. The VC equation is highly skewed to favor the investor, but you are the person that has to do all of the work, you are the person that is really invested in the business. To make matters worse, once you accept that term sheet, your investment in your own business becomes subject to the whim of your investors. You may not understand this now, but you will understand it when you go to raise Series B, Series C, Series D, and find yourself with just 3% of your own company because it took more money than you ever dreamed. VCs want, no, demand, that you spend their money. Try telling a VC that you are going to take $3.5M in Series A and stretch it over 3 years as you iterate. Hell, try telling a VC these days that you want just $3.5M instead of $10M.

Good luck.