I did flunk Kindergarden. In the early 70's (during the later parts of the Vietnam war.), they had something called Early Primary in Corte Madera, Ca.

I remember all the children had to go up to the calendar on the blackboard once a month and put the day, date, and year The teacher would whisper in our ears where to put the plackard on the black board. If you failed--you had to do it the next day.

I just couldn't remember what she whispered in my ear while walking up to the calendar on the chalk board. Looking back it was nerves. We just had to move the pre printed plackard to the right spot.

The children used to yell "right--left. I would go to 30-31 places until they clapped. (The kids were on my side. They wanted me to succeed.

I was frozen with embarrassment though.

I think I had some learning disability, or emotional problem.

I just remember I had a hard time learning. In all honestly, I just wanted hide in the playhouse from the other children. I was basically very shy, and nervious.

That's when they put me in Early Primary.

It didn't bother me because 1/3 of the class was with me.

My family moved two years later to San Anselmo.

I was happy. My father, and mother were happy. My dad bought a four bedroom home. We all had our bedrooms. I love life, but my family more.

When I entered 2nd grade, I became worried. These new kids had no problem answering questions the teacher would ask.

I------would just cower in fear hoping she would ask me anything. Well--she didn't overlook me, and I would just freeze in fear when she would ask me to repeat what she just said. (Looking back it was basically nerves, but maybe a learning problem? 99.99% of me now feels it was just nerves.

Ok--it's the 70's, and teacher, and my mom, had an unusually long conference.

They held me back again. They put me in this worthless Speech class. I was a studder. "A, E, I, O, U, any Y." Repeated in a route manner. It made no sence to my young self.

I did have a younger sister whom would remind Everone that we were three years apart in age, but 1 year apart in school. There was always a silence from intelligent adults, or an uncomfortable silence from the rest.

By the time I got to the 3rd grade, I knew I just could be held back again.

By the time I was in 7th grade, I was a B to A student. Everything just clicked in.

High school seemed easy, but it was only until my last year I took it serious.

Most blue collar kids knew nothing about good/bad colleges. My sister, and myself, knew nothing of the SAT. It probally didn't help that my Electrican father thought "College boys were tax dodgers." (It was a different time in America. If you didn't go to college, it didn't matter. A union job was a test away.

OK, Iloved my father, but didn't want his life, including the drinking, and Archie Bunker mentality.

I ended up working my junior year in highschool, and going to College of Marin. Back then it was called the Little Berkeley. It was a great school for many years. Those two years were with the cost!

I wanted to become a doctor for all the wrong reasons, basically I could memorize visually all those biology charts, and organic reactions. It just came so easily.

I needed a 4 year degree though. I went to --- ------- state for the four year degree, and graduated. I also had a very aggressive girlfriend at the time, and I knew she would hold it against me if I graduate from that joke of a school.

I had a panic attack while I was in graduate school on december 24th. It was probally comming. I was very much a hypochondriac at the time, and actually believed I has a brain tumor. I tried to go back to school every month for a year, but was just a neurotic mess. I went from being the most capable guy in the room to not being able to drive a car.

I was so neurotic. My girlfriend was a saint though. I had this period where I though sex was making my head pain worse.

We are talking about a 19 blond virgin until we became a couple. She believed my bullshit until she saw a Woody Allen movie with her mother. I belive it was Hanna, and her Sisters.

All I knew was I had this head pain, and life seemed to short. I had a hard time repressing my sexual desires. I had a hard time sitting in school--delaying gratification. I did know that the worst day in college was better than any job blue collar jobs though.

(Why did I write this? I use HN as. journal. My respect for this site has dwindled. When Dang isn't hellbanning me for no reason------I will write. It's not for anyone's benefit except myself, unless it comes to real subjects. I am not going to edit this, especially after a bottle of wine.)