>Because language is a collective action. Definitions evolve with usage.

>That's just how language works.

I'd call language a social construct. Whereas Using language is an action.

The former is a noun (person, place or thing -- in this case, a conceptual thing) and the latter is a verb (word describing an action) phrase relating to that thing.

And except for group chants (e.g., "Let's Go Mets!"), choirs, etc., using language is definitely an individual not collective action

That said, as a social construct, languages change all the time, exactly as you pointed out, based on usage.

You'll never catch me calling an SO (significant other -- which is a decades-old attempt to be more inclusive -- and private) 'bae', nor will you hear me say 'very unique', no matter how many other people use those terms.

Am I a bad, evil human being because I won't use various terms that are in broad use? I say 'no'.

Why? Because I (my brain/consciousness) control my communication systems, not popular usage.

I do my best to be kind and empathetic to those around me, not because I'm being forced to do so, but because I believe that doing so is a trait common to decent human beings, one of whom I aspire (and usually succeed) to be.

I'll go even further and say that context matters. There are many things I might say while down the pub with friends that I'd never say in a professional context or among strangers.

There's actually a term for that. It's called "code switching"[0].

And that brings up an odd, but widespread, change in our social discourse.

The online world, and especially social media, has (unless one takes steps to avoid doing so) comingled our personal, private and professional lives. Which is why I took/still take to heart advice I got nearly 30 years ago:

Don't put anything online that you wouldn't want
to see on the front page of your local newspaper
(back then, local newspapers were still a
thing).

My boss/colleagues/clients/customers don't need to know what I do when I'm not working unless they happen to also be a part of my personal life. And those in my personal sphere don't need to know what's going on in my professional life.

That's not to say there's never any overlap, but different facets of our lives don't need to intersect. Nor, in many (most?) cases, should they.

What's more, It's my choice as to what words I choose to express. And it's absolutely the choice of other folks to call me out if they feel that those words I choose aren't appropriate.

I'd add that I have a big mouth and am often deliberately inappropriate in (mostly successful) attempts at humor. But not in contexts where such things are socially unacceptable (e.g., in professional situations).

And if some folks don't appreciate me or my sense of humor and shun me as a result, that's just fine. No one is required to be subjected to me or my language.

I want to be around people who want to be around me. And not all of those either.

I don't require anyone's approval with regard to what I say or when. But if I misjudge the context of a situation, I may find myself (and I have) facing judgement, and sometimes consequences, for my speech.

Fortunately for me, at least in the US, I can say pretty much (with certain exceptions) anything I want without legal consequences. But that doesn't stop anyone from taking issue with what I say.

I'd ask that you go back and re-read my comment (several times, if necessary) and let me know if I'm not being inclusive or empathetic. That should be amusing.

[0] https://www.britannica.com/topic/code-switching