The developed world seems to be trapped in cultural values that are incompatible with children. Emergent culture is downstream from incentives, and the incentives are all wrong.

The west broke the entire 'family' equation by nationalizating elder care (social welfare, retirement homes) and introducing the concept of a nuclear family. People still spend the same on elder care (in taxes instead of in person), but without any personal connection to those they contribute to.

Children = retirement was a big part of the incentive. Kids took care of you once you reached 60. The last 20-30 years of your life were glorious. "Respect your elders" meant that you get served food, chauffeured around and enjoy being an angel in the eyes of your grandkids. This same thing made being a parent easier, because the grand parents helped out. Moving away from this has made being a parent harder and worsened the long term incentives.

American infrastructure and the 'nuclear-ness' of upbringing also plays a role. It forces parents to invest an insane number for hours into their kids for even the most basic shit. The soccer mom meme is a direct result of unsustainably built suburbs and separation of responsibility. I grew up in dense communities, where all my friends lived within a 5 minutes walk from my house. I didn't even need to leave my building. The playgrounds were within eyesight of at least 1 parent, who would periodically peek to make sure the kids were still there. This allowed my parents to leave us unsupervised at a much younger age. The elder kids would walk the younger kids home from school. Younger grandparents were happy to be babysitters for kids from the entire community for free. Moving away from wide-social-webs and towards nuclear units has destroyed all of this. This put burden of parenting entirely on the shoulders of 2 (sometimes single) working parents who're working more than 40 hr/each. Ofc having children sounds unappealing.

Then there are the impossibly high standards of being a parent as portrayed in the western media (especially educated circles). Your job as a parent is to make sure your child doesn't become a total loser. That's it. Anything more is extra. Kids are expensive because every parent is expected push their child into Harvard. Let kids be kids, most of them are going to have mediocre careers and no amount effort is going to change that fact.

Today, other people's children as seen as 'their burden'. Society needs to start seeing children as the total societal advantage that they are. The young are the ones who do the heavy lifting and keep the $$ coming for an economy. Their taxes subsidize the lifestyles of the old. They create new art and media that most amazes us. They are an endless source of optimism and liberal (in terms of being liberated), unlike the cynical and conversative (in a sort of jaded failure averse resignation) ways of the old. Not everyone enjoys being a parent, but a majority enjoy being the cool uncle/aunt. At a societal level, children bring joy that is obvious to everyone who chooses to look.

But, as long as we encourage the 'everyone outside my tiny circle of concern is a chore' mentality borne from nuclear thought, the incentives will continue to discourage tolerating children in society as a whole.