Hi 71a54xd!

I've struggled with this too. I was on study career-sabbatical travelling in Europe with my then-girlfriend/partner. She was banned from US entry by Trump exec. order and we came to her home of Australia (I'm from the USA) in March 2020 -- we stayed because it was obvious Trump & fam were treating the pandemic as a way to further profit from dubious science, dividing people & pandering. Down under (Melbourne) we've had some of the most strict quarantine lockdowns of any place in the world -- I like it here and now I can't imagine returning to the USA -- but accepting my network in US is mostly toast. Making new friend during a pandemic is really hard.

The timing for the rapid transition to remote work globally wasn't great. I don't think it will be like this forever (but it might take a decade to sort out). Companies weren't ready, and grey-haired CEO, peter-principal IT leaders & HR departments weren't technically equipped for the transition. Most companies (globally) still relied heavily on email & jira + meetings instead of chat, IT was an expense but not seen as "the core of the business" pre-pandemic. Few companies had transitioned to 'remote-first' & 'async culture' pre-pandemic (mostly only bay area startups do this imho). Async culture(s) suggest remote employees get together 'virtually' for coffee or beer and gives them discussion points - did any of your employers do that? I know most didn't.

Other people have told me you shouldn't go to work to make friends, be mentored, get free sushi lunches, you should go there to work blabla. Also making friends @work is NOT the responsibility of your employer (and imho it is certainly not a priority at a startup who should be product focused!!!) -- unless the company highlights & promises that vibe during the recruiting.

Covid/remote work came during a global period of divisive social misery & wealth inequality creating a lot of cognitive dissonance for anybody paying attention. When you think of "digital social network" which company more than any other 'owns' that space? Facebook. And while I won't put all the blame on Zuck - because I know Russia FSB has a legion of trolls & bot-nets manipulating the platform too. The fact society can't use our Internet's "social network" really failed spectacularly. Facebook and it's related platforms are mentally toxic. FB/meta is algorithmically optimized to make you angry, isolated, pissed off & alienated (just like Fox News) because it suits Zucks & Putin's long term power narrative(s)! Zuck is in my view a fool -- not dumb, but incredibly foolish to have squandered such a responsibility & good-will entrusted to him.

So for this pandemic - as long as meta/facebook is the defacto global "social network", i.e. zuckerberg et. al is the primary party responsible for connecting us 'digitally' with friends, family & peers blabla. yeah we're all sort of isolated & socially fcked mate.

We know now* that Zuck isn't interested in (y)our mental health or making us better. Zuck isn't interested in bringing families together, preventing teen suicide, or even disseminating the truth. Zuck is a horrible person and I would happily kick him in the groin on behalf of humanity if given the opportunity so he could (if only for a moment) share humanities collective pain and perhaps even "feel something" akin to desiring compassion. The pandemic would have been a lot easier (socially) if there was a critical mass alternative to Facebook. I heard Trump launched his own platform today -- maybe there is an opportunity for another alternative which focused on mental health & positive news, and living your best life during the pandemic.

Nah, just kidding .. I don't really wonder how Trump's new social media platform will do that. Trying to finding people online when the primary company which runs the social networks is facebook - consider perhaps it's better to be isolated during the pandemic.

How I cope: Study & learn whatever you want unfettered, humanity has been writing stuff for ~5,000 years now, there's a lot to read (and it's all online woot!!) We live in such a cool age for geeks. You sound technically competent -- it's a shame you don't realize what a hidden blessing this is. I've found a lot of the technical chat rooms on Matrix.org to be 'my people' (it's more like IRC) .. you might look there for whatever online social interaction with people smarter than you. mentoring, etc.

Cheers!