(continued)

>32. Never Get Drunk At Work Parties

I'd rephrase this to "know thyself". If you know you tend to show your anger/depression/lecherousness when drunk, maybe it wouldn't be such a great idea. Working for companies big and small in the past, I personally enjoyed every opportunity to go out boozing with buddies or bosses. I'd argue that several of the 33 lessons can be checked off at once this way; the idea is comical enough to me (a high-functioning alcohol aficionado), I'm going to spend the rest of the post on it:

>1. You’re not smarter than anyone
Nothing like the ancient bonding ritual of drinking until you can't stand straight to bring about the status equilibrium. But it will give you the chance to mention the stuff you have done right that might not have gotten the attention you'd hoped (10. Toot your own horn). "Well, Bob, writing that script last week was easier than walking right now."

>2. There is such a thing as a stupid question
And several of them will pour out during the bar-crawl. This is good because you have an excuse to talk frankly with one another. This ability to communicate without fear of reprisal is so important, it's a part of the lifestyle of Japanese salarymen. Afterwards, all is forgiven/forgotten because, hey, you were drunk. This means whichever you're going for (16/15. Do/Don't be a yes man), you can feel comfortable in being honest.

>3. Looks matter
This pretense falls apart when the top officers of a successful company are joyously murdering their favorite karaoke songs because their brains are too soaked to simultaneously read the words and produce the sounds they represent. It's an ugly reminder of the beautiful truth that, no, your looks and performance are independent variables.

>4. Know what you know and what you don't know
And take advantage of this opportunity to ask the important questions. Not banal, "8. Have a presence", "I'm here too, remember?" small-talk. You can learn the most fucking important information about your work (and thus, life - depending on how you look at it) by splitting a bottle with your boss. This is so important, I'm going to type "fucking" again.

At my entry-level position at my last job, I knew as much as the top managers - possibly more, if you consider that the other people "playing it straight" won't tell the executives what they don't want to hear, but will happily vent their frustrations to you (7. Listen to people, 9. Archive Everything you can, 31. Find out what you like and don't like about your job).

Bonus: when people are complaining, they're telling you how to win their hearts (11. Help others and they will help you). When they're drinking and complaining, it's more likely to be truth and not mere politicking.

>11. Help others and they will help you
Nothing builds camaraderie like holding your manager's head over the toilet and fetching him some water (or whatever the situation happens to be - searching for the house keys under a desk or the managing director, incidentally, under a desk). Improvise ways out of the adverse situations resulting from the group's drunken antics (30. Do the best you can with what you have).

I am mystified by the social ritual of drinking and continue plunging into it in hopes of better understanding it, but the strongest personal - and consequently, professional - bonds are forged in the fires of irresponsibility (24. Learn to work in a team).

If anyone has recommended reading on this phenomenon, please do share!

>18. Make Friends
>19. Have Fun
>20. Know when to put in the extra hours
>21. Don't get too comfortable
>26. Make your job enjoyable
>27. Take Breaks
>28. Be A Cool Guy

All apply directly.

I realize a lot of this will sound ludicrous, immature, illogical, terrifying and so on, but anyone who's taken part in school life and business life will have no trouble observing that these adjectives can apply to both. I don't want you to get shitfaced and stumble through the datacenter, tripping on wires and unplugging them before drowning in a puddle of vomit. I do want you to step out of your comfort zone, arrange where you can share more than a few drinks with your boss, learn about your company through his eyes, and better yourself as a result of it.

In the context of HN, I would re-title this article: "33 reasons to start your own company!" In the context of this post, I would re-title it: "32 reasons why reason 32 is bullshit."