I was the first person in the office every morning, and my co-admin was the last one out every day. On April Fools Day 2014, I came in to find my desk, chair, monitors, keyboard, and mouse wrapped in bubble wrap. Several layers, taped with clear shipping tape. The night before he and our sales engineer had stayed late and wrapped it all. They also taped a terminator pic over the red laser on my mouse.

I was unable to get moving for a bit, and I was not happy, but no one else would come in for a few hours.

I knew his Windows password so I:

- turned his screen upside down with the background right side up

- Turned the logon background upside down

- changed his keyboard layout to Dvorak Southpaw

- disabled the login screen Lang/KB selector in registry

- as well as his taskbar volume control after turning it up

- set the mouse angle 30° to the right, since he used a trackball mouse.

- removed the knob from his speakers

I wrote a script to speak at intervals to annoy the fuck out of him throughout the morning, hid it, and ran it 30 minutes before he came in.

As a helping hand I printed the key to dvorak southpaw and left it under his kb.

<script>
Dim sapi
Set sapi=CreateObject("sapi.spvoice")
wscript.sleep 2700000
sapi.Speak "Click"
wscript.sleep 500
sapi.Speak "This is halloween"
wscript.sleep 510000
sapi.Speak "auntie em, auntie em, it's a twister"
wscript.sleep 480000
sapi.Speak "no smoking"
wscript.sleep 3000
sapi.Speak "do good work no error"
wscript.sleep 720000
sapi.Speak "what did the lawyer say to the other laywer? we are both lawyers"
wscript.sleep 480000
sapi.Speak "yah moohlah baby"
wscript.sleep 300000
sapi.Speak "win ning"
wscript.sleep 50
sapi.Speak "ha ha ha"
wscript.sleep 180000
sapi.Speak "typing"
wscript.sleep 840000
sapi.Speak "I'm Rick James, biitch"
wscript.sleep 50
sapi.Speak "I was banging twenty gram rocks cause that's how I roll"
wscript.sleep 240000
sapi.Speak "nullified depolarized phooey"
wscript.sleep 653891
sapi.Speak "insurmountable fractionate fast"
wscript.sleep 15000
sapi.Speak "you are, fired"
wscript.sleep 120000
sapi.Speak "The same thing we do every night pinky, try to take over the world"
wscript.sleep 300000
sapi.Speak "get Back to work"
wscript.sleep 840000
sapi.Speak "I'm sorry dave, I'm afraid I can't let you do that."
wscript.sleep 50000
sapi.Speak "click"
wscript.sleep 360000
sapi.Speak "touch me"
wscript.sleep 180000
sapi.Speak "sweat, baby sweat, baby sex is a texas drought"
wscript.sleep 540000
sapi.Speak "ba dah ba ba ba. I'm loving it"
wscript.sleep 420000
sapi.Speak "I wish you would upgrade me to Windows 8"
wscript.sleep 60000
sapi.Speak "leh go"
wscript.sleep 480000
sapi.Speak "science biitch"
wscript.sleep 30000
sapi.Speak "can you hear me?"
wscript.sleep 15000
sapi.Speak "Do you get it yet?"
wscript.sleep 90000
sapi.Speak "quoth the raven, never more"
wscript.sleep 1000
sapi.Speak "ha ha ha ha ha"
wscript.sleep 500
sapi.Speak "I think you are getting the idea here."
wscript.sleep 50
sapi.Speak "I got you, April Fools"
wscript.sleep 50
sapi.Speak "April Fools"
wscript.sleep 50
sapi.Speak "April Fools"
wscript.sleep 50
sapi.Speak "April Fools"
wscript.sleep 50
sapi.Speak "April Fools"
wscript.sleep 50
sapi.Speak "April Fools"
wscript.sleep 50
sapi.Speak "April Fools"