> First, you want a "dependency manager". That's not what Nix is, clearly. Nix is a package manager.

This is not true. The defining point about Nix is that it allows to define all dependencies explicitly. Every derivation in it is built inside of a sandbox with no access to network and restricted filesystem. This ensures that nothing is accidentally missed. Package management is just one of features.

> Second, to use this package manager, you first need to install direnv. How do you install it? with brew, a different package manager.

direnv is not needed to use Nix, it's just a nice add-on. It's like you don't need Ranger to navigate in a file system, but it is nice. Besides, you can install direnv through nix, I use it this way. Even nix is installed by itself as well.

> Third, you have to learn a new functional programming language. Right. Because normally to put together a toolbox, I often learn to speak a few phrases in Swahili first.

Well, yes you do, but language is actually quite simple it's the nixpkgs (repo containing all packages) that's quite complex. Nix's purely functional, lazily evaluated properties exactly fit as a language describing dependencies.

> Fourth, finally, we get to install a simple Unix program, that any package manager could have provided.

If you were trying to install a package, you don't need to learn anything, you just install it (for example to install ranger you just run nix-env -iA nixpkgs.ranger). Nix language is only needed if you want to create a new package.

> For the fifth trick, freezing dependencies, you first have to have all the correct versions of all the dependencies to do what you want. How do you establish the right ones? Manually. Just like with any other package manager that builds apps against a specific tree of build deps. "Reproducibility!" Because no other package manager could possibly download the same tarballs and run the same commands. Must be all that functional programming magic.

> And sixth, the idea that this will work forever. Right. Because any other distro and package manager could not possibly work again in the future, with a mirror of all the packages in a release. That's only for super cool futuristic package managers. No way to reproduce the same packages in the future with old package managers.

> Look, Nixians, this is all old hat. Every decent package manager can do all these things, just in a less complicated way. Modern systems use containers, and they don't need Nix for that. Nix is basically just the new Gentoo: a distro for hobbyists who tell themselves they're advanced while all the professionals use something else.

Nix delivers what docker promised and ultimately failed to deliver. Docker promised to reproduce developer's environment to production. What it did was to zip developer's computer and deploy it. When docker got adopted, relying on images was impractical, so for deployment Dockerfile was used, but that file is not much different than a shell script.

Nix instead describes the entire dependency tree down to libc. Because the starting state and all dependencies are known it can always create the same result, that's the biggest selling point of Nix to me.