I've been there. Still get there occasionally. There is nothing more brutal than writing down a goal you have written in the last 10 years and failing it yet again.

I have three ways to combat this, and it improved my life and it led to better success.

1. Keep a victory log.

I tried gratefulness journaling etc but it always felt cheesy. One day I realized that I do a lot of things well, I just do enough things wrongly that I miss some of my goals. So I used a victory log to record what I do well.

Let's say you want to lose weight.

Your victory log might say

- Ate good breakfast, high protein, low carb

- Tracked my calories

- Did some yoga

- Ate a good lunch

- Didn't drink beer at dinner

Now you might have had a shit dinner. Had a cookie for a snack, or 10. That doesn't matter. You only write down what you did well. I used to be a pessimist, but this changed my mentality. It allowed me to see that I don't suck. I just do a lot of things well, I just need to do a lit bit more. To continue using the weight loss example, eat a better dinner and avoid snacking on cookies.

The victory log is there to remind you that you are not as bad as you think. You will catch your brain say "...but you messed up X, Y, and Z" while writing in it, but it will subside. Doing it allowed me to find joy.

2. Success Pod

A simple google doc, about a page long that is reminders to myself. Quotes that motivated me. It's a living document, I am on version 4.4.3 right now, so it has changed over the years. The point of this document is a daily reminder of what I need to be doing, what matters, what works for me. Pitfalls that I have fallen enough times that I should not just fall in again.

I read this document daily, in the morning. It's part of my routine.

Example snippets of what my success pod looks like

> Daily ToDo in an index card with 3-5 items works really good for you. If you don't write down your ToDo you lose focus

> If you are always challenging yourself, you're always climbing the mountain, so there is nothing to be negative about because it's a work in progress (Arnold quote)

> Work on things for 5 minutes when you don't feel like it

> Every Sunday review your progress. Keep what worked, figure out what didn't work and why

3. Escape Pod

This is the document I read when I feel how you feel right now. It's a gentle letter to myself. To remind me that there is a way out.

It starts kind of like this:

> ...my friend...don't roll your eyes just yet.

> You wrote this in a good mood, using logical thinking. It's pretty much the opposite of how you feel right now.

It has an inspiring music track link. Various ways I have gotten out of negativity slump before. It's full on wholesome...for me.

I used to have to read my escape pod doc once a month or so, I just looked at my last read date it's been more than a year. Primarily because the victory log replaced the need for this document.

Hope that helps.

On another note, find a job that is semi close to what you want to do. So if you want to make games, find work in a game dev shop. If you want to have your own business, join a company that does venture capital stuff.

Finally, are you sure your dreams where legit? The dreams I had at 20 are not the same ones that I have at 40, and that's OK.