_Books for dealing with the emotional stress_

Also the following books helped me to get my mind straight about all this:

1. The Art of Happiness by HH Dalai Lama and Howard C Cutler
2. The New Earth - Eckhart Tolle

You'll realize that comparing your life the outward projection of other peoples lives is pointless and is mostly useless.

Also the most important thing that you'll realize is that suffering is in your mind. And is something you can control.

_Books on how to care for Alzheimers patients_

Some books I HIGHLY recommend to figure out how to care for your parents and for yourself:

1. Alzheimers - Early Stages by Daniel Kuhn
2. The 36 hour day by Rabins et al.

3. The Anti-Alzheimers Prescription by Vincent Fortanasce. (This is not really anti anything but goes through modalities that _could_ reduce alzheimers in the future.)

To get an idea of what an alzheimers parent is going through you could read: Alzheimers from the inside out by Richard Taylor.

_Dangerous Drugs_

Also the 2 drugs that might get prescribed and that you would want to watch out for because of abnormally high rates of deaths in the trails are:
1. Reminyl(Galantamine)
2. Donepezil 23mg dosage. (The 10mg dosage doesnt seem to have had any side effects for my dad in the last 2 years).

_Personal Situation_

My dad has Alzheimers too. Right now he seems to be able to live on his own. We handle all his taxes, medicines, doctors visits etc.

My dad's case is made worse by him living in a village in rural India. And he vehemently will not leave. Electricity is only present for about 19 hours a day and water only for 4 hours a day. This makes it much more interesting a problem. :) But he is a pretty amazing guy having gone from a village to an engineering degree and high ranking navy officer so he's a got fighting spirit which I think helps him.

(Interestingly theres wireless internet here for 24 hours a day!)

_Other Thoughts_

I absolutely agree with edw519 - you cant expect any help from anyone but you can ask. You'll be surprised by people who will be willing to help. You have to become part of the community you are in. You dont have to even tell them about your parents until you've known them for a while.

Also I think in the US there is a lot of support you can get from local organizations. The Alzheimer's Book number 1 recommendation above lists a lot of helpful resources that could be useful even if your parents dont have alzheimers.

_Practical Advice_

1. Create a strict regimen for your parents. Something they can do on their own. As edw519 says, use attendants, nurses, adult day care etc.

2. Make time for yourself. And use this time to start applying for remote jobs or take on simple work from sites like RentACoder etc.

_Bottom Line_

You arent missing out on ANYTHING. Every friend of yours will have to deal with aging parents at one point or another. Or worse they've already lost theirs. You are able to get some quality time with these people which I think you are lucky to be able to do.

I dont know at what stage your parents are but I aired out all my past grievances with my dad and its made our relationship that much more stronger. I admire him a little bit more now.

Dads situation has also brought my whole family closer.

_My Contact_

You can contact me at railsnoob at yahoo dot com if you like for whatever - just to vent (I always feel like venting after a few days iwth dad :) ... or talk about our experiences or anything.