> It's not easy to do, even with strangers on the web

Sometimes I get a good feeling, and this comment section gave me one :) Seems like the place to write about ADHD.

> Take that pill and realize my enlightened self or try to love myself in spite of my chemical imbalance in the brain

That's actually a good quote, thanks for coming up with it :)

> JOURNAL your personal thoughts, it's really helpful to realizing what you're trying to say to yourself

That's such a good point. Lots of times I spend months thinking about stuff, but rarely come to a conclusion. Sometimes gets to a point where I think so much about something, that it starts to pull me down mentally.
But everytime I write these thoughts down, most of the times because I stumble upon a comment which talks about the same topic, I feel like it allows me to summarize these thougts and understand them fully. Somehow I only noticed this now, with you telling me that a journal could help. So thanks again, I should probably start writing a journal, after all, I liked writing stories as a child.

> I'd suggest you try a different medication

I probably should, yes. Funnily enough, I (illegally) self-medicated with Modafinil, a year before I even suspected that I had ADHD. I was just always tired with no motivation, Modafinil helped quite a bit. But it's not an official medicine in Switzerland, so I ordered it over the internet. Obviously that's a terrible solution, so I stopped after 2 blisters.

The official med they gave me was Concerta, which is basically Ritalin for adults in Switzerland.

I spend like 99% of my time on the internet on US-centric platforms. When I informed myself about ADHD, I exclusively read from US sources, Russell Barkley as an example. Now the annoying thing - Adderall, as an example, is just not prescribed in Switzerland. You can only get it in very rare occasions, or if you migrate from the US. Lots of times when I talk about meds or ADHD-theories with my doctor, they either don't exist here or they have another name, which makes that whole ordeal a bit complicated.

I should call my doctor to renew my Concerta prescription. That's another thing, the prescription has to be renewed constantly, but with 'rona you can only get appointments for urgencies. Plus, at the pharmacy I get treated like a drug addict. Last time I tried to pick it up, the prescription expired like a week before. I didn't know that, because the prescription is stored at the pharmacy. The pharmacist then decided to look at me very sincerely and state with a loud voice, that he "can't just give Concerta with an expired prescription, we are talking about extremely strong narcotics here." Was really nice of her, especially because everyone in that pharmacy was able to hear, that this young man over there consumes "extremely strong narcotics". Got some weird looks after that. They also constantly treated me like they suspected that I was only getting them to resell them, had to justify me picking them up both times I went there.

I guess, overall the experience I had with meds was just unsatisfactory. Should probably just try out a different pharmacy, the last experience demotivated me so much that I just completely gave up on meds.

Well anyways, thanks for reading my TED talk, and many thanks for your great tips :)