You must nip it before it gets too late.

I worked for a FAANG (Amzn Bayarea) for 5yrs and it was worst 5yrs of my life.

My current situation is I have Vocal Cord Dysfunction and Laryngospasm. In addition to host other problems like GERD, GI, sinus infections, cold sores. NONE of which I had before starting this job. Before this job, I was at the pinnacle of my health.

It wasn't so much the work which I actually loved, but the people and company's methodology for recognition, reviews and promotion.

It basically got down to two things:

1. Bullying.

2. Systematic discrimination.

I created an entire department from scratch, built it to 20+ people when I left and became one of the most talkabout group. I worked multiple days/nights straight, weekends and late nights to make it all work for 3+ yrs. A lot of which was getting down to my hands and knees sweat type even though I am a PM.

So what did I get? My role was replaced by an insider who influenced the hirer to hire all of his friends and replace my role as department head. Then I got relegated to the bottom of the org structure. My name is on everything on this org which eventually all got replaced by my replacements. I simply quit after all doors closed due to notes in HR files I'm sure.

My current situation with VCD/Larynogospasm. You do NOT ever want to get to this point. Laryngospasm basically is when your vocal cord closes while it's spasming and you can't breathe. You feel like you're about to die because no matter how hard you try, you can't get a breathe in. Eventually you can breath but like being water boarded, you won't die but the experience is unforgettable. I get this multiple times a day. I can't drive or even play with my kid. In addition, I also have syncope which is blacking out when you cough. There is no remedy or understanding asto why this happens except mental.

Now back to your situation. When they say stress can kill, they really meant it. I feel like I'm going to die every day because of my problems which includes syncope where I blackout coughing.

1. You need to mitigate your stress inducers

2. You need therapy to help you. Men generally don't talk and keep things in. That will kill you.

3. You must find regularity in daily walks outside with sun in nature, away from people.

4. Your own thoughts will bring you down. you must find peace by eliminating your stressors. Worse case you can't, then stop taking it personally because it isn't you, it's them.

I feel absolutely horrible asto what happened to me and feel helpless. However thinking back, I could have done more to help myself. It's all mind games. You must create strategic alliances and maintain some conduit to which people who are decision makers can see and hear you.

Ultimately I now understand the adage of "it's who you know, not what you know."

I realize now why so many upper mgmt are such morons and idiots.

Be good to yourself, talk to someone, take breaks out in nature. You MUST find release for all the stress you're going through. I cannot live with what I have. Matter of fact, I just had a laryngospasm in writing this. I'm reduced to being on my knees, gasping for air, using my O2, ventolin which none helps since they can't reach my lungs.

Letting stress take over your life will kill you.....

Good luck and take care of yourself because NO ONE will.

Nice guys truly do finish last....