Hi the_only_law,

I don't want to suggest that what I have observed is scientific truth. Lately, I have been going to therapy regularly to try to work things out. I think it's helping, it certainly isn't hurting, to have a carved out time with somebody neutral to just think and talk.

Within that sentence is a pattern I have noticed in my life at least. I went through depressive periods a few times in my life for different reasons (and sometimes seemingly no reason). Divorce, losing a job and unexpected unemployment for a longer time frame, etc.

This created gaps in my career life, and each time I had a gap, there was carryover effect from the event that triggered it, which I needed to get through. The first few times it happened, I didn't realize that I actually needed the gap, to have time to process. I didn't realize that my brain, although depressed, well... it almost felt like it was doing what it was doing on purpose. Almost like, to force me to rest and sleep and sort of stagger aimlessly through the world for a while.

Only one time when this happened, before I was getting therapy, I saw that things were going sideways again and I was going to have a gap. This time, I prepared myself for it by telling myself that, if I was aimless, bored, did nothing, etc that it was OK. That I would allow myself to do that for a reasonable period of time until I started to feel better, and then after that I could do whatever I wanted.

I guess what I'm saying is, I let it happen consciously and gave myself time. I let that time be carved out to take a break.

After about 6 months went by, I am not sure what exactly changed, but something changed and I just started feeling better. It wasn't any one specific thing, but I was sitting there and started to get the natural inclination to just go start toying around again, this time even with some different and new subject areas, learning some new stuff and soon enough that transitioned into maybe starting my own business.

I was so excited and had begun the process, when, about two weeks into doing it, a job offer I knew nothing about appeared. I took a hard left turn and took the job because it sounded interesting, and my story continued.

I want to reintroduce the world to the word sabbatical [1] - rest from work. Carving out time, or taking advantage of the gaps. Rest with intent.

Depression is real. When life takes a toll there are chemical changes in the brain. Therapy and medication could be necessary and so if you need help, the advice is always to seek professional help. Don't suffer alone if you need help.

If, like me, you find a way to process it safely on your own, as I did in the last 6 month gap, you may find your way through.

If it is of any help, think on what a sabbatical is and if you can swing it, try it. It does not mean you must do nothing at all, take a break, learn something if you like, but don't push yourself to do anything that feels like "work".

I genuinely believe and have even considered starting some kind of non-profit support organization to help people learn about, organize and implement a sabbatical. I may still do it, after realizing that this is an area where we are really suffering as humans and where we need support.

Best wishes on your journey, be safe, and good luck.

[1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sabbatical