Awesome - so glad to see enthusiastic responses! Let's give it a go then...

As I said in the OP, I will be more than happy to assist startups with one piece of marcom at no charge. No I'm not a dealer handing out free fixes, I just don't have the time or independent wealth right now to be able to offer more assistance. Believe me when I say that I love to be challenged creatively and I love variation. If I did have the time and independent wealth, nothing would make me happier than to do this for a living. The sentiment behind yan's / ia's suggestion above is something I've wondered about plenty in the past.

So here is what I ask of you:

1. Please send me an email and introduce yourself. Tell me a bit about your company, your core product(s), your target audience, your ideal customer and so on. Then tell me about the one problem item that we'll be tackling, be it product sheet, homepage, elevator pitch, mass email, etc.

2. Please be thorough. No one knows your product better than you so highlighting key features is of the utmost importance. When you've been eating, sleeping, breathing and living something for XX months, it becomes very easy to forget how to look at it from an outside perspective (this very fact is half the reason marcom people have jobs). Make sure you think about the key messages / features that you are hoping to highlight with this particular piece.

3. Please be patient. I promise that I will respond to each and every email sent. In fact, if you don't hear from me a few days after sending an email then by all means resend it. Regarding deliverables, please be understanding if I estimate a turnaround of six days and you haven't received anything from me on the seventh. I have no reason to believe that keeping an open line of communication will be difficult but at the same time, I do have other things on my plate. Re: time zone, I'm just outside of Manhattan (EST).

4. Please be clear. If there are elements of any job that should be considered confidential please ensure that you make me aware of them. I will not be sharing anything we discuss or work on but this relates to item 1 below.

5. Please include your HN username in your intro email.

What I ask in return:

1. Portfolio building - In the event that my own project does not pan out, I will likely end up re-entering the marcom world at some level. Your permission to include whatever we work on in a future portfolio would be greatly appreciated. If for any reason this is not a possibility, just make sure to specify that (item 4 above).

2. Friends and family plan - Please keep a few things in mind as I perform this service for you. I am in fact hoping to find a technical co-founder to work with me on my own SaaS so if you know talented and motivated people who might fit the bill, an intro would be greatly appreciated. I'm not going to ignore people who don't open their intro email with, "Hi. My buddy is ready and waiting to build your vision!" At the same time, bear in mind that networking is indeed my not-so-ulterior motive. Even if all you can do is connect to me on LinkedIn and write a two-sentence recommendation that might help me sometime in the future, I would appreciate it.

3. Your ear - Once my work for you is complete, feel free to ask me about the SaaS I am considering. The opportunity to bounce ideas off of intelligent people "in the thick of it" is something I will never refuse. It is perfectly understandable if you are too busy with your own business to chat along these lines. No harm, no foul and good luck to you in your endeavors. I hope I was able to make a difference for you.

4. 2% equity - Calm down, that was a joke...

So with all that behind us: My name is Zach, I have nine years of small-company marcom experience under my belt, I'm now seeking more out of life and my email is in my profile. Looking forward to doing what I can to help.