Not even close. "Best" has lots of dimensions, though: It depends on what you mean, and that changes which car is "best" quite a bit:

Fastest: The one I own now, a Chrysler Crossfire SRT-6 (the one with the 350HP supercharged AMG motor.) Yeah, a Chrysler sports car is weird. Other than raw power/speed (and styling, which I love, but is admittedly polarizing), it's not the best car I've owned, but it's very good in most ways, fun to drive, and suits me. I like it enough that this is my second one, after the first got totalled a few years ago. Impossible to nap in at a rest area on a road trip, though.

Coolest: I owned a Ferrari Dino 308gt4 for 25 years, and it was my daily driver for nearly 10 years. Italian cars are an illness, but a fun one. Unless you're rich (I'm not) you need to be able to wrench most maintenance and repairs yourself, and need a good non-dealer mechanic to pick up what you can't. Not really that fast, but everyone thinks it is. Traded a year-old RX-7 and $1500 for it in 1988. If you're willing to put up with poor build quality, go buy an old Italian car - it'll be way cooler than a Tesla.

Most fun: Fiat X1/9. Tiny little targa that really is a baby Ferrari - owning this car first saved me tons by recognizing many Ferrari parts were identical to Fiat parts with the decimal point moved over. (e.g.: identical thermostat: $8 Fiat part, $80 Ferrari part!) Proof a car doesn't have to be fast to be fun, but I eventually added a stroker crank and big-valve heads with dual Webers anyway. Bought for $1500 when I was in college and taught me enough about Italian cars to make buying the Ferrari possible.

Best at speed: '91 Alfa Romeo 164S - the big 4-door sedan. The S is not just a badge - probably a third of the car is different. That's fine until you needed parts shipped from Italy b/c they didn't stock them in the US. Wonderful car, though. Definitely the best-looking motor I've owned, with all those polished aluminum intake runners like a nest of metal snakes on top. The first time I drove it on the Houston Tollway, it felt like I was going about 80, but my eyes disagreed - I looked down at the speedo and saw 120!). Really nice family road trip car.

Most reliable: Chrysler again - 1992 Le Baron 4-door with the beautiful jewel-like Mitsubishi 3.0 V-6. Picked it up as a reliable solid car for my wife when our second was born (killer deal, $2500 under book), and it was without question the most reliable car we've ever owned. It wasn't exciting, but was such a good car that we wound up keeping it for many years longer than we'd planned. We put about 130K on the car with pretty much nothing but brakes and oil changes.

Best quirky car: '87 Merkur Xr4Ti. Bought new for my wife. Fun, roomy (absolutely amazing what will fit in the hatch with the seats folded down), quick, comfortable. Would have kept this one much longer if a boneheaded mechanic hadn't zapped the electrical system. Ain't nobody got time for electrical demons!

Most disappointing: Oldsmobile Aurora. Beautiful car, wonderful motor. Really heavy though, and despite handling pretty well, it couldn't hide that weight. Seats looked nice, but were impossible to get comfortable in. Mileage was barely better than the Ferrari. Had minor electrical demons from near-new. Wanted to like it a lot more, but didn't keep it too long.

Best all-around: Strange to be typing this, but 2007 Chrysler Pacifica (crossover, not the newer minivan). Bought new for my wife at only $2000 more than a good used one, but with a much-improved engine, nicer options, and an unlimited powertrain warranty, which was a good thing, as it ate transmissions every 2-3 years. Without question the best thought-out car we've ever owned. It does everything, and does it well. Surprisingly quick with the big 4.0 V6, roomy (originally planned to get a trailer hitch to help kids move back and forth to college, but never needed it, since everything fits inside), comfortable (the best roadtrip car ever!), stable at speed (will cruise all day at 100-120 mph (not really that fast on many Texas highways), amazing brakes, and freakishly good gas mileage (36 @ 80mph with the first transmission, 30-32 with later ones). You don't expect it, but it's really nice to drive. Other than the transmission problems (actually caused by motor mount failures), the car was dead reliable. Sadly totalled by a Jeep-driving "wench with a winch" rear-ending us at a stoplight.

So yeah, we've had some weird cars, but quirky can be fun. Counting the kids' cars, we've also had a Honda, Nissan, Mazda, Isuzu, Ford, Hyundai, Saturn (probably worst overall), and Plymouth/Mitsubishi, but although almost all of them were good, most aren't really standouts for the "best" list. (Though the Maxima, RX-7 Turbo , and Conquest come close.)

Maybe we'll pick up an off-lease Stelvio Quadrifoglio or Trackhawk in a few years, who knows? More likely one of those than a Tesla...