I found myself irritated enough to talk about conscientiousness.

I have a permanent medical condition which calls for a somewhat antique medication. It is typically used "as needed," certainly not every day. I have had a regular prescription for over a decade and it has certainly improved my quality of life. I refill like clockwork, I am responsible about using it. It comes time for a refill and ... my pharmacist at Walgreens regrets to inform me that they cannot seem to get it, and that the manufacturer has stopped making it.

This is worrisome. I remember life before the medication. I dig through the FDA databases, locating every organization which has applied to make the medication and been issued an NDC (National Drug Code) identifier. Each organization is tracked down: are they still in existence? Have they been bought out and if so, by what other company? I discover buyouts, shutdowns, press releases saying that they are "exiting" some market. I make phone calls, I send emails, and, when no other contact information is available, I send letters with self-addressed stamped envelopes. Almost everyone who has ever made it has stopped or been stopped in one fashion or another. Meanwhile, I begin to canvass the distributors: McKeeson, Cardinal, AmeriSourceBergen. Are there any remaining in stock? If so, which pharmacies in my area do they work with? Most pharmacies have a single distributor. These are organizations who do not like to be contacted by the hoi polloi, and I have quite a lot of "How did you get this number?" conversations.

At last, a hit: someone has just started manufacturing it. Out of all of them, there's only one. I dutifully take this to Walgreens. After a few go-rounds, they cannot seem to get ahold of it. They suggest Walmart. I have to hassle my poor doctor's office, now in COVID-panic like everyone else, to move my script, which one required a special paper. Walmart swears they have it, they have contacted their distributor, they have bottles in stock. Wonderful. And it does not arrive, they call again, and it does not arrive, and they call again. Finally, they shrug and give up. Right!

I call CVS; they are sure they can get it. I transfer the script, again. Off I go to CVS. CVS says that, yes, it is in stock at their distributor. Similar to Walmart, after a few weeks, they cannot get it. The pharmacist has called the corporate offices and only knows that there is a "corporate block" on it and that, despite being able to submit an order for a bottle of pills which are present at a distributor, they will never ever arrive. I am disappointed, and, out of a little curiosity, I submit a letter to CVS corporate (again with the self-addressed stamped envelope to remove barriers to reply) asking just what this block is ... not that I ever get a reply.

I try a small, local shop. I wince at having to call my doctor to have the script transferred yet again. Surely they will try harder rather than giving me the brush-off you can so often get from large organizations. No dice. The dance is now familiar to me.

Armed with yet more research and NDC codes and distributor phone numbers, I approach my original pharmacy again. Another script transfer, with all of the pain entertained in moving something with a low Schedule number around. With the new information I have gathered and a great deal of persistence, they manage to obtain it. The head pharmacist tells me that the sole other patient on it will be relieved, and that he has never had to work this hard to get a prescription before.

By the end of this two month period, I had lost approximately twenty pounds and was clumsily knocking things over due to my coordination degrading. Finally, I managed to fall hard enough that I was still limping two months later.

The moral of the story is this: being conscientious does not guarantee availability. One can do all of the right things and still not have it on hand. Being dependent on a medication, even weekly, can be a burden, even if you attend to the situation quite closely. I urge you not to be quite so flippant about it.