I was pleasantly surprised by this particular entry (at least the currently held top responder, the 5' tall guy).

I saw one element that struck home with me:

I also get to hear female friends go on about what jerks all men are, how they cheat, aren't trustworthy, etc

It stood because I learned the hard way that when you are that guy you're the brother she never had or (put in the "Friend Zone" [hat top to the movie "Just Friends"]). The problem is that excessive assertiveness by people of limited height tends to come off as "Napoleon Syndrome" (HNers know Napoleon wasn't actually short, but I'm guessing my point was made properly (-:).

HN tends toward problem solving, and I had the confidence problem, myself. I am not short, but I am probably in the bottom 25% of the "attractive scale". I'm a very skinny, non-muscularly developed male. I have an egg shaped head and various other features that my bride (of 7 years, who happens to be a three inches short of 5', likes to joke about). I was terrified of rejection from women because I had been rejected a few times previously and ... really, it sucks.

I can't take credit for all of this because I had read something "way back when" that led me to this plan. I did it. It worked for me.

First, I wrote out the plan. This was important because it reinforced that I was solving a problem in a non-personal nature (think serial killer saying "It puts the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again"). At least once per day (ultimately turned into several times in a two day span), I would subject myself to female rejection in every way, and I would accept it graciously.

I had been juggling one "friend I had hoped would be my girlfriend" and it wasn't working out, so I started there. I explained that I had feelings for her in clear language (I believe the words were "I've been hanging around with you as a friend in hopes that you would date me"). I apologized for not making that clear in the first place (the whole graciously part kicks in. This was, in my mind, a lie). I got rejected. We also ceased to be friends. In the long run, it was a good decision.

Baby steps: I went to the bar (really, a club). I used to triumphantly say that I'd never want to have met my wife in a bar. This was a cop-out, and I found clubbing to be a great sandbox environment for this reason (I don't "want" to meet my wife in a bar, so if they reject me, it's all a big experiment). I don't dance, not even now. I went there with one of my friends (significantly more attractive, despite being as skinny). He actually took home one of the girls who had rejected me (really badly, with the whole "how dare you hit on me at a bar on ladies night when I got half-off drinks and no cover charge and you had to pay for the privilege of me berating you [yes, still a little bitter about that]). I struck out -- continuously -- mercilessly -- and the first several times it was seriously one of the biggest ego-killers I'd experienced (though, the amount of concentration it took to keep a cool head actually softened the blow for me).

There were, however, the few wins. I got a couple of good dates out of women I met at the club (no real connections). I was (naively) surprised to find that there are women at clubs who are there because they can't find another socially acceptable place to be "picked up" (look for the ones who aren't drinking very much and lack the ring or the arm-attached boyfriend).

The practical upshot of all of this was the usual story of how to gain a life skill (confidence, not womanizing). It was highly awkward, painful and resulted in a lot of failure. But I'm happily married going on 8 years as a result of it. And the experience increased confidence in communicating with others across the board.

EDIT: phrasing wasn't ideal.