Don't worry about offending me. I won't be there to offend.

But, here's what I hate about SXSW:

The crowds. I generally hate any environment where one pays hundreds or thousands of dollars in order to wait in lines. This is not a failing of SXSW or the people who attend; SXSW has been a great marketing success for its founders. It's just something I don't like, so I make sure I'm not in town when some of the venues I frequent will be packed and prices hiked up for the duration.

It brings swarms of people pushing products and "personal brands" into a town where that sort of thing is not common, even at tech events. People start companies in Austin, but the culture is a different one from Silicon Valley, and I like it that way. But, I like Silicon Valley the way it is, too; it is true to its history and part of its charm. The problem is when you try to shove a square peg into the funny looking blob shape that is Austin culture. I spent three years in Silicon Valley, and I enjoyed most of it. When I first arrived and started attending nerd events, I thought, "I've found my people!" Turned out not to be so much true after a bit more reflection and exposure, and the 38th time I heard someone pitching a revolutionary new travel wiki, or the countless times when someone explained their new product in relation to some other new product I'd never heard of ("So, it's basically a clone of X, but we've added social features!" where X was some company that had existed for two months and had one developer and at least a dozen users and had been mentioned in a comment on TechCrunch by its founder). But, it's a valuable part of American culture and I love that Silicon Valley exists, so I can visit when I want to experience that culture. I love the history of computing and a lot of it happened because of and inside of the valley. Nothing wrong with Silicon Valley, but for me, I have to take it in measured doses.

So, that's the part of the valley that I don't like coming to Austin. I also mentioned LA and New York, and those cultures also infect the entire conference and not just SXSWi.

The thing about LA is that the Next Big Thing is the holy grail...and everyone playing SXSW is trying to convince you they're the Next Big Thing. There are promoters everywhere, people pushing CDs, flogging their particular showcase with flyers and parties, and a huge pile of people telling you what to like. While Austin has more live music per capita than any other place on earth, Austin doesn't normally do the Next Big Thing. Bands sometimes make cool posters, and that's about the extent of their marketing prowess. During SXSW there are hundreds of bands playing every day in Austin, sure, but on any day in Austin there are hundreds of bands playing (6th Street alone has several dozen live music venues, most open 7 days a week, and with two to four bands on the bill). SXSW just means you have to wait in line and pay hundreds of bucks to see them, and fight a trade show crowd gone wild to get a seat or a place near the stage. Which brings us to New York culture...that of exclusion and long lines and stupidly expensive drinks. You don't just get into every show at SXSW, even with the fanciest of wrist bands. You have to wait in line, or know the right people. This, again, is a testament to the success of SXSW. It is a huge event, and the crowds are tremendous. That doesn't mean I have to like it. I've been a live music fan (and a musician) since I was a kid, but I decided very early on that once the crowd reaches a certain size, the experience is remarkably less satisfying. While most of the clubs in the SXSW rotation are small enough and cool enough venues for transcendent live music experiences, the crowd, both in size and in kind, are not.

So, enjoy SXSW. If that's the sort of thing you like, then SXSW is about as much the sort of thing you'd like as anything I can think of. I do not enjoy it, so I'll park in some other city while it's happening. I'm in Flagstaff, AZ this week, and I'll probably spend a couple days at the Grand Canyon, and then maybe pause in Albuquerque, before heading to Austin for another month, or so. Austin should be getting back to normal by the time I arrive.