I realize this might not be a popular approach, but I figured I would share my experience here in case anyone else is helped by it:

I was an alcoholic for over 10 years. I would drink multiple liters of vodka weekly. It was not uncommon for me to drink an entire 375 ml bottle of vodka in an evening.

I never really considered myself to be an "alcoholic" in the traditional sense though, because I didn't let it affect my day-to-day life as a programmer. I was young and healthy, and I didn't usually have much of a hangover because I only drank high end vodka, and I always drank a lot of fluids. Whenever I got a hangover, I would just pop an ibuprofen and the hangover would disappear after about an hour. I would literally set my alarm an hour before I wanted to wake up, and when that alarm went off I would wake up, pop an ibuprofen, drink half a glass of water, then go back to sleep. By the time my second alarm went off an hour later, I was as good as new.

I literally did this for years, while often working 12 hour days as a programmer. Nobody could tell, and it didn't seem to affect me too negatively, so I didn't see a reason not to. It helped me relax at the end of a long day, and it made movies and television more fun and enjoyable to watch. It was also fun to go out to bars and hang out with friends.

Eventually, though, it caught up to me, and I started to get reports from doctors about abnormal liver test results. They were still just borderline, but it was enough to scare some sense into me. I had just recently had a son, and I realized I wanted to be alive for when he grew up.

So I tried to stop drinking. I didn't want to go to alcoholics anonymous (I didn't consider myself to be an alcoholic after all, and I'm an atheist and didn't want to deal with all of their religion/higher power 12-step stuff).

Quitting cold turkey worked for about 3 months, but as I'm sure you know, the alcohol drinking culture in the programming startup world is extremely prevalent.

It was only a matter of time until I ended up in a social scene where I felt pressured to drink, and I had a beer along with everyone else. It was all right, I told myself. It was just a beer! No big deal! I had quit drinking before and I have it under control now, so it's ok! Nope. Once I got a taste and a reminder of the stress relief offered by alcohol, I started right back into it. Next thing I knew, I was drinking vodka every night again.

After a couple of more false attempts to stop (with each one being thwarted by my having a beer and getting sucked back in), I finally came to terms with the fact that I simply can't drink. I can't touch the stuff or I will get sucked back in. I realized I was an actual alcoholic.

So I stopped. I carefully tapered off my heavy alcohol consumption over the course of a week, and that was it. I've now been sober for a year and a half. Whenever I'm in social situations where other people are drinking beer, I simply order a diet coke or something and I sit and enjoy their company. I might even shoot the breeze and chat about all my favorite types of scotch or whatever. But I absolutely do not allow myself to have even one sip of alcohol, because I've learned the hard way what it leads to.

As a side note, during that year and a half, I also managed to get completely out of $50,000 worth of debt, pay off my car, and diet my way from 245 lbs all the way to 180 lbs (still have another 20 lbs to go before I reach my goal of 160).

And I did it all without alcoholics anonymous or medication or therapy or anything. I simply accepted ownership of the problem, made a decision, and stuck with it.

With that said, however, there was a catalyst and a "higher power" that lead to the change and kept me on track:

I had a kid, and I realized that I wanted to stay alive long enough to see him grow up and have kids of his own.

I realize this might not be a magic bullet for anyone (and I hope you get help if you need it), but my point is simply that sometimes it is in fact possible to do on your own (given the right circumstances and motivation), although this fact is something that is not very popular to mention.