Saying "calm down" like that is spectacularly rude and derogatory, did you mean to or was that an error? If you want someone to get angry that's exactly how you do it, fwiw. Anyway maybe you're not trying to just turn it into a flame war? Sure, ok. Let's just address those points as coldly as I can manage.

1. "The Ribbon" The most useless, workflow breaking, unwanted garbage change I've ever encountered. No exaggeration. A change microsoft dropped resources into instead of fixing the bugs, sucking time from users and upping their stress and frustration levels. It's the poster child for workflow breaking. Excel. A higher microsoft priority than fixing bugs. Contrary to your claim they clearly understood that they had enough market power to force it on users breaking their workflow and make the users pay for it.

2. Microsoft love breaking compatibility. Every damn upgrade of office somwhere else by some other customer meant you couldn't open a spreadsheet containing a single column of numbers because it was "incompatible." You had to request they convert it and re-send if they knew how and probably you or your employer would be forced to upgrade to avoid that hassle while get slugged with the ribbon you didn't want.

No upgrade treadmill anymore, now they can just charge you yearly without having to play that awful upgrade treadmill game. They don't have to fix bugs either, as we agree and they don't. They chose not to. So that needs to be pointed out every time it comes up to counter a little bit of the horrible stealth of it.

They did /try/ to fix rand() with much fanfare by breaking it different but no version issues. Was broken, is broken, never use it. The only stats function I'm aware of they tried to fix? Really? No? Like "sure, but maybe some people are dependent on getting wrong results and allocating resource based on error?" Is that really the excuse for not putting a tiny part of that mountain of money to stop kicking customers? It's objectively awful. Compatibility with utterly wrong that anybody relying on that wrong has a massive issue.

1900 isn't a leap year and dates are stored as number of days since Jan 1 1900 so fix it and every single date rolls back a day, hilarious and everyone forgives that including me. Stats functions are not like that at all and do not require version changes. Just the will and resource to fix them. What is needed is to actually care.

So that leaves your quote:

"They have fucked up. A lot."

That one stands up. But I don't think you've really embraced the depths of the disaster that is excel and why we should encourage everyone to avoid it. Because (to paraphrase) the error is quite deliberate. It's not worth it to them to fix. They know the bugs are there. They no the bugs are material. They no the bugs stop the software for being fit for purpose but they'd rather not spend the resource, which they could do quite easily. They give software a bad name with that attitude. Are you really happy with it? Really? How much harm do those bugs do every day, in your opinion?

Excel, just say no. Really. I'm sorry if you hate hearing that and you were proud of work you did there or whatever. I was pretty bummed when I came to that realisation myself.

Microsoft earned a reputation with regards excel and they maintain it, even if it seems they don't maintain the actual software.