Native French speaker here... (this is a throwaway account)

I am not judging the overall ability of OP to actually speak French or its methodology but I got triggered by the embedded French text and "correction" [1].

Neither the original text nor the correction make any sort of sense.

Here is the original text :

Je vous propose une deuxième solution : des credits pour s’inscrire à un gymnase proche. Il est évident que faire du sport nous aide beaucoup à bien gérer le stress et améliorer la santé. Cependant, il est parfois difficile de trouver le temps pour s’inscrire à un bon gymnase et se dédier à l’assister, particulièrement quand on est tout seul. Si on donne aux employés des credits pour faire du sport, il sera probable qu’ils se motiveront et ils iront le gymnase ensemble. Cela pourrait beaucoup réduire le stress parmi nos employés et faire en sorte que notre entreprise trouve toujours le succès.

In a conversation, French-speaking people would probably get the general idea if they were to try hard enough but it is at the frontier between gibberish and (young) child level of French.

Let me break it down :

> Je vous propose une deuxième solution :
Perfectly fine.

> des credits pour s’inscrire à un gymnase proche
“crédits” is an unrelated term ; “gymnase” is the old-fashioned name for a place where all kinds of indoor sports take place. If the the idea here is “vouchers for gym subscription”, the closest in French would be “des abonnements à des clubs de fitness/salles de sport”.

> Il est évident que faire du sport nous aide beaucoup à bien gérer le stress et améliorer la santé.
You can improve _your_ health, not _the_ health. Given that he used “nous”, that would be “… améliorer notre santé”.

> Cependant, il est parfois difficile de trouver le temps pour s’inscrire à un bon gymnase
Same comment as above regarding “gymnase”.

> et se dédier à l’assister
Literally translated “dedicate yourself to assist the gym [the building]”. A correct wording would be “et y être régulier”.

> particulièrement quand on est tout seul.
Perfectly fine.

> Si on donne aux employés des credits pour faire du sport,
Same comment as above regarding “crédit”.

> il sera probable qu’ils se motiveront et ils iront le gymnase ensemble.
Here, the conjugation (the tenses) are plain wrong – it’s really obvious yet whoever did the correction didn’t have a clue. And it lacks a preposition and a grammatical article. Literally translated “it is going to be likely that they will be motivate themselves and they would go to the place where all sorts of sports take place together”. Properly translated “il est probable que cela les motive et qu’ils participent à cette activité ensemble”.

> Cela pourrait beaucoup réduire le stress parmi nos employés
Ok.

> et faire en sorte que
That’s perfectly fine and the “correction” isn’t any better. They are synonyms.

> notre entreprise trouve toujours le succès.
That’s fine from a grammatical point of view but that is not a wording that would be used in that context. Once again, the “correction” isn’t better. The general idea of the text is that, in the context of a fictional company, providing employees with vouchers for gym subscriptions could help reduce their overall stress, have a positive effect on their health and, at the end of the day, contribute to the success of the company. The last sentence would be used by a sect and would roughly translate to “our company will always manage to find success”.

[1] http://www.runwes.com/images/learningfrench/image1.png