> I can paste raw data combining my issues and associated risks/success rate. Future suddenly looks bleak from the comparison. Potential is capped more by location, family, genes, qualification, environment etc than age. High school drop outs suffer more on the long run, especially here. Being born in poverty increases your chance of ending in poverty. Those disorders are associated with short term burn, lower life expectancy, less fulfilment, lower income, higher risk of addiction and 6x increased chance of suicide or early death. My other problems certainly lower the bar even more (different forms of abuse and trauma).

Those are averages and aggregate statistics. They are not a crystal ball in to your future.

Just talking to you here, it's blindingly obvious that you're not the typical high school dropout. You're clearly intelligent, you care about your future, and you've already taken steps to improve yourself. You just need to keep taking such steps and not give up. Don't let your focus get distracted by gloomy statistics. Try to focus on the positive and the steps you need to reach your goals.

Also, with every little step you take towards your goals that has some success, you'll find it a boost to your self confidence and it'll make it that much easier to reach your goals and escape the situation you find yourself in.

> I have done that already at least online. I have found some genuine constructive advice like you have added above. I think main issue really comes from facing reality hammer and a terrible exhaustion. Everything needs a positive experience to continue. I lack that spark. Currently, if you asked me what I wished for. You wouldn't get any answer. That is the_root_problem. While extra money is always good and helping, but it doesn't provide big of an incentive to put work at this stage in this form. Other than, I don't really deeply care to want something.

Yes. I understand, and have been through it myself. It's very common not to know what you want at your age, and even beyond.

The thing is, you don't have to decide on an ultimate goal right now. I'd encourage you to try different things and see how you like them. There have been many famous, successful, fulfilled people who had a long history of trying all sorts of odd jobs and careers before they finally found something that they were really well suited for.

Don't be afraid of trying different things. They can open all sorts of unexpected doors for you, let you meet all sorts of interesting people and mentors, give you new perspectives on the world, give you opportunities to learn something new, and lead you to destinations you could have never have imagined before you started on those paths.

Also, whatever you try doesn't have to be forever. Try it and see how it goes, and if it doesn't work out try something else. In this way you will learn about the world, learn about yourself, and the kinds of things you do or don't like, what motivates you and motivates others, and what you're more suited for.

> Good food? I don't mind bad food at all or lack of it for days. I can certainly live with a blanket without a bed. I don't care if there is a person irl to talk to me either. I have trained myself enough, I can have a conversation with myself using a notebook.

That's good. That tells me you don't need much in terms of material goods, you are resilient, and you are self-sufficient. Those are valuable character traits, and will let you survive difficult conditions that would break more needy people.

But you very likely still have some needs and desires, even if you don't think about them much right now. Most people want to love and be loved, to have deep, meaningful connections with others, to feel understood and appreciated, to do something that makes a difference in something they care about.

I think you have a very, very good chance of achieving all of those and much more. But you definitely, 100% will not if you don't try. Focus on trying. Focus on taking one single positive step forward every day, one step that brings you a little closer to getting yourself out of the negative situation you're in now, a little closer to making deep friendships and meeting interesting people, one step closer to trying something new that could change your life.