The more I read your posts, the more it feels obvious for guys to facepalm and continue to defend their dignity and stop mentoring. Time has come now to make you contemplate on why bad supporters like you are more dangerous than bad actors. I beg you to stop being one of them.

No where did he say he made an inappropriate comment except for your premature judgemental attitude. Are we so incapable of being more nuanced to differentiate awkward[1] from sexual comments? Sure they both come under 'inappropriate' but not all inappropriate comments deserve taking up with HR. And only matured people understand that.

You got to get your facts right first of all.
"I was let go due to "financial reasons" because a co-worker brought up her ass" [0]

He was fired. The company was so coward that it couldn't even come forward and say what he was fired for, had it been truly about - sexual harassment. That means the company didn't follow due procedure just like mine. Now I know what feminists typically say - that it is us men who should run pillar to post and fight against big powerful corporates in the courts, while make themselves unemployed, potentially unemployable and leave their own families starved.

Its rarely lucky that he got benefit of doubt in another company to join when he searched without protest and and his female boss knew how he fell pray to the woman's scheming[1]. But most don't. Just look at #metoo accused guys who said more benign and non-sexual things. Most of them didn't get another job for far too long and are in the wait. Many got divorces because running a one sided family becomes unsustainable.

The depressing problem with our society is it don't recognize that a guy does feel the psychological trauma, emotional and mental distress because of not just us twisting his facts, but his friend and family circle that leave him in lurch usually because they don't want to associate even with a criminal accused. All because he is a guy. Your comment is a live example of it.

Not only do we not recognize the gravity of such stupid misuse of power, but gaslight him as not seeing "his" problems. We just keep parroting its all his fault. This is the textbook example of victim blaming.

And how is unconsented twerking of arse somehow acceptable when unconsented exhibition of penis is called sexual harassment? On top of that, we encourage women to complain against him?

"Dude, you have a problem. You clearly cannot see it, but you have a problem. I'm not making assumptions based on anything but your own words, and in your own words, you have a problem. Maybe less of a problem than you once did, but still a problem."

You said its his problem four times without backing up any of it. That speaks volumes about you than me and further proves my point of "gynocentric justice". I don't understand from where you get such magical clues that it doesn't seem to register men acting badly in me. That's totally straw man argument and doesn't even deserve a dignified reply.

He clarifies - "but it wasn't in any way sexually suggestive"[2]

So you cannot even imagine something even in alternate world that a sexual act of her's can't be replied with something awkward and without involving any sexually suggestive in it? Now we doubt the one who speak up and try be honest, huh?

If this is not ruining, then I guess you have ruined it for women having undergone sexual harassment for real and its just nothing as much to avoid the contradiction in your own belief.

The OP's life is never representative of the bigger picture. In fact, #metoo movement is, where the complaint was in same intensity of acts and the consequences were overkill.

> You describe being sexually harassed in the workplace, and you had every reason to complain to HR yourself. I hope you did so, and I further hope you weren't dismissed when you did so--which does unfortunately sometimes happen.

Yes I did complain to HR, a woman. She smirked and said that it will be immediately dealt with. I was not followed up what happened finally. I was purposefully kept in the dark. The accused continued the job as if nothing happened. Nothing happened. The HR begrudged me for taking it to her higher ups. She instead spread that incident as a rumour to the whole department( I work in) that I won't whine and complain for such a lucky chance and the accused got support of her female friends that it was nothing wrong among her female friends. Some of them who listened to HR tried to implicate me as a lech pulling a victim card.

My location of the office: New York. Yeah, New York!

He clarifies in another comment[2] - "People who know me think this is funny, because they know me and how easily mortified I get when I say something I don't intend to."

So people who know him find it funny and people who don't know him like you find it unbelievable, huh!

[0]https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=19969673
[1]https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=19975794
[2]https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=19975728