I rarely comment on anything but this hits rather close to home. After a rather severe bout of depression my doctor started feeding me drugs. SSRIs, NDRIs, benzos, and a handful of misc other prescriptions that were the flavor of the week. I felt like every visit was a game of 'lets try this new drug!' which would lead to negative side effects more often than not.

Fast forward a couple years and I'm realizing that medications aren't the answer for me. So what do my doctors do? They try to push yet another pill or three down my throat. Finally I'd had enough of it and told them I didn't want to take anything anymore. Their idea of a tapering plan from over 2 years of medications was a week and a half. They were sure to tell me that if I stopped treatment I wouldn't be given any more refills and one doctor condemned me for even showing up to my appointment with the intention of discontinuing medications. He said I was wasting everyones time.

Anyway, I figured sure, I got this. I can get myself off these meds. I was very wrong. I made it about two weeks before withdrawals really kicked into overdrive. Dizzy, brain zaps, tinnitus, profuse sweating all hours of the day, insomnia, numbness in my face and arms, racing heart, involuntary muscle spasms... I started stuttering and couldn't force my body to stop twitching and shaking. My mind was completely fogged over and at times I couldn't even articulate words to talk to someone. It was a state of being in a perpetual panic attack multiplied by 100. After I thought I was actually going to die I setup an emergency appointment to try and get a prescription refill and a longer tapering plan only my doctors wouldn't have it. They flat out refused treatment and told me to go to the ER if I thought things were getting that bad. I was floored. Here this doctor got me physically addicted to powerful mind altering medications over the course of a couple years and now that I want out they treated me like a drug addict and dismissed me.

In the end I sourced some darknet meds and very slowly tapered myself down. To this day I'm still not even close to being back to normal, whatever that is. I get random panic attacks out of the blue on a daily basis. Sometimes the left side of my body will go numb. Other times I'll just start sweating while my heart beats like I just finished running a marathon. The ringing in my ears is horrible. I'm now extremely sensitive to stimulants of any kind (no more caffeine, meh) so I've had to make some significant changes to my diet.

The good news is I've been 100% off any medications for two months now and I'm finally getting to where I can get more than four consecutive hours of sleep several days a week (so much better than zero sleep every day). I feel as though being able to enjoy coffee, sugary drinks, and having the ability to actually sleep an entire night has been permanently removed from my life now.

At any rate, if there's anything anyone should get from all this rambling, it's that you should exercise extreme caution with pill pushing doctors. They have the ability to drag you into your worst nightmare of existence and leave you high & dry when you want the ride to stop.