> In fact I had my own religion: science -- which I believed in quite strongly. I'm not talking about accepting models because they are useful. I generally believed these models to be true.

In other words: The problem was your religion of sorts, which was rather obviously not science (because of lack of falsifiability), and not science?

> I think the point I'm trying to make is that, especially those of us who have a hard time with religion fall just as easily into our own religions. That's an embarrassing and difficult thing to look at.

Well ... all the more reason to consider religion a problem per se, then? I mean, not acknowledging that it is a problem won't help with avoiding it, will it?

> But, (again my personal opinion, which I hope you will take as just an old guy being friendly) my wife really enjoys her religion.

Well, and some drug addicts really enjoy their drugs ... your point being? I mean, yes, there is essentially nothing where you can't find some subjective positive aspect to it for someone, but that's hardly much of an argument in favor of the thing?!

> It brings many good things for her

But does it? Or is that merely religion taking credit? Like, would she be any worse off if you took her life and removed only precisely the religious aspects? Mind you, that does not mean removing church from her life, for example, as in the social organization, but only those aspects that involve faith/doctrine/supernatural claims. Just because the institution that she belongs to happens to have religion as a declared goal, doesn't mean the religion aspect of it actually provides her any benefit.

> and, to be completely honest, while her religion has doctrine (which, incidentally, not all religions have) I haven't actually met anybody in her church that demands that doctrine.

Well, or do they? How would they react if she started questioning things in her church? Would they willingly engage, give her a podium? Also, do they still indoctrinate children? Will they stand with her when she protests indoctrination? Doesn't the faith aspect of her religion impair her epistemology and that of the other people in her church? Bad ideas are still bad ideas when they are used in small doses.

> He believes in his religion and has no way to reconcile his education and his beliefs, but he is completely OK with that.

Which is just obvious nonsense? I mean, how aren't you saying that he is simultaneously accepting as true multiple propositions that contradict each other, which would be an obvious impossibility?

> I really miss him to be honest. He got posted to Malaysia (being a priest is a super hard job). He's one of the few people I've met in a church who ever accepted me for who I am and what I believe. He frequently stood up for me and explained to other people that not everybody believes what they believe. I was very grateful for that.

Well, that's great--but the problem that he is helping you with there wouldn't exist in the first place if there weren't people like him teaching all those falsehoods that create the division in the first place, so I am not sure I can see more than a net zero contribution to your well-being in this? First teaching people that there are (completely fabricated) reasons to reject people like you, and then standing up for you when those people act on what he taught them is not exactly a contribution to society.

> These days, even though I don't believe what other people believe, I feel it is important to respect that belief.

Why? I understand it that you are not talking about respecting the person, but about respecting the belief, right? How could that possibly be a good idea? And how do you decide where that applies? I believe that white people are inferior to black people. Do you respect that? If not, why not?

To the contrary, I think that respect for the person trumps respect for a belief. If someone is a member of scientology and they believe that Xenu fought the aliens (or whatever their theology was, I don't remember), how would respecting that belief rather than challenging it be anything but a sign of lack of respect for the person that is stuck in that belief system? They don't have the means to defend themselves against the abuse, and you leave them to their fate out of respect?!

> It's just my idea and it may be horribly flawed, but I think we need to first accept other people as they are before we invite them into our own field of vision. Sometimes that's hard to do.

Well, maybe? But then that's respect for the person, not for the belief, isn't it?