" I find this kind of position to be juvenile. "

Americans often do not understand their own political ideologies, the basis for them, and use completely the wrong words in describing them.

Libertarianism is ultimately an American flavour of (Classical) Liberalism, which is quite an old political tradition.

'Freedom of expression' is absolutely not a conservative value, it's fundamentally Classicaly Liberal.

Capital 'C' Conservatives in the USA may be big on 1st amendment type things, but it's really not conservative at all.

Liberals would have wanted to abolish the relationship between Church and State, conservatives would generally not want that, historically.

Liberals pushed for centuries for certain people to be able to have certain rights, conservatives would have been generally opposed to such things on political grounds, less so on the basis of values. 'Values' based politics is a more modern thing.

Even free markets - this is not a conservative thing, it's a Classical Liberal / Libertarian thing, which is why the term 'neoliberalism' is sometimes used to describe super capitalist/free market types. None of that is conservative.

In terms of 'values' - 'freedom of choice/expression' is fundamentally at odds with communitarian values and it's more easily understood in issues like the draft: A conservative would believe that in the event of (legitimate) war, everyone should do their best, basically sign up to fight. The draft would be seen as the rational duty of citizens. A libertarian would never accept such a transgression of their rights - joining the Army under any circumstances would have to be a matter of conscience.

Angela Merkel is mostly conservative. In larges swaths of Europe they have compulsory military service even though they are politically more progressive - it's because they are culturally fairly conservative. Most European nations have state Churches, i.e. official religions.

In Europe, the 'free market / big business' folks are not called conservatives (because they aren't), they're called 'Liberals' - which is what they are. The left has Social Democracy, Democratic Socialism. The right usually has Christian/Agrarian Democracy and then maybe some kind of nationalist movement in there.

I admit though 'personal responsibility' is both a conservative and Libertarian value. To a conservative, personal responsibility is a community obligation, righteous members of the community are hearty, productive, and fyi generous. Christian Democrats ideals are fundamentally communitarian (charity with no expectation of return is a requirement) and are totally incompatible with this 'Ayn Rand' stuff about not necessarily having an obligation toward others. (There's a hint there: you absolutely cannot be a Christian and Objectivist at the same time, Christians 'serve God' by behaving morally and by building the community, possibly through self-sacrifice and charitable work, putting God and the 'greater god' above oneself, whereas Objectivists pursue their own happiness as a moral obligation - charity is a choice, not an obligation) Libertarian personal responsibility is more a matter of individual pragmatism: 'Take care of yourself nobody else will (or should)'.

It's obviously a weird paradox in America that some conservatives value community and duty (think boy scouts, military service) and at the same time this penchant for 'absolute freedom'. I believe this is reconciled if you consider 'democracy' really as the form of freedom they aspire for people of other nations and that Americans wish for this basic opportunity for all people - to the point wherein they are willing to fight/sacrifice themselves for that 'greater good'. And of course on the left, you have artists/creative types who on one hand talk about sexual liberation and being 'open minded' and yet who are in 2018 the vanguard of the very illiberal policing appropriate language, and controlling what is acceptable culturally (i.e. only transgender actors should play transgender roles), opposing academic views which are hostile to some ideas etc. etc.. It's definitely weird. Anyhow , in America, Liberals are often not very liberal, and Conservatives are often not very conservative at all.